Op-Comic: My husband and I confronted infertility. His past struggle with baldness brought unexpected lessons

Illo of a woman and man on a couch. The woman is lying down and man is sitting up reading a book with "Adoption" on the cover

By E. VyVy Trinh

May 21, 2023 3:02 AM PT

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For the past 29 months me husband peapod and I have been confronting our apparent infertility

The past winter we tried and failed three rounds of intrauterine insemination.

Even though we're both full-time doctors, he and I had no health coverage for these procedures, a common reality for so many

I realized he'd once experienced a biological struggle with parallels to this. His baldness started in his mid-twenties.

[Illo of sperm with hair; one sperm is bald.] I'm not trying to trivialize the pain of infertility. Both are sources of shame

Both baldness and infertility have forced peapod and me to examine that shame and confront its roots: hidden ugly beliefs.

Both happen in plain sight. [Image of woman greeting couple at door "Are you pregnant yet?" Female guest: "Hello to you too"]

Technology can alleviate both. In a world with limited resources and so much need we've weighed treatment options with guilt

There is a powerful grief in the discovery that your body will not behave the way you had always imagined it would.

All we can do is accept our bodies. Peapod has been guide to many a young man. There's a brotherhood among balding and bald.

I graduated residency and am fortunate to have a new job with rare fertility benefits. Suddenly we can afford IVF.

His embracing his biological fate ago was a glimpse into portals to kinship, wisdom that can open when we accept our bodies

E. VyVy Trinh is a cartoonist, writer, OB-GYN and educator. Instagram: @vyvywondercomics

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