Ah, print journalism. Such a quaint concept. It had its day, though, didn’t it? Hell, I can remember back to the golden age of journalism, when newspapers were thick with ads, healthy travel budgets and large staffs churned massive news coverage as columnists sprinkled sections with wit and insight.
You know, back in the ’90s.
Those ink-stained wretches could be a stodgy bunch, always wanting to fact check, use multiple sources and “craft” stories. They would actually hold a story to make sure it was right. Isn’t that just so sweet?
Speculation was frowned upon, so you can see how out of touch newspapers have become in the current climate when news is led by the nose on social media. Like they can’t admit TMZ rocks.
Out here on the Net -- where newspapers are ironically fumbling over themselves in a losing attempt to embrace it as its new savior -- we are not shackled by antiquated notions of journalism. Speculation is not only allowed, it is “hits” encouraged.
So maybe you got wind of the Matt Kemp-Yasiel Puig mini-skirmish in the Dodgers’ dugout Monday night in Denver. It wasn’t all that much, really, Kemp shouting at Puig from behind as he walked the dugout. Didn’t even last that long, Manager Don Mattingly stepping between them, though Kemp followed Puig briefly into the clubhouse walkway.
Neither player would discuss the incident afterward, though Mattingly did compare his team to the brawling 1972 A’s. Which, it should be noted, was the first of three consecutive World Series they won.
Neither facts nor nary an iota of insight is an invitation to speculation, or what we out in on the Internet like to call modern journalism. So here is some pure unadulterated speculation on what was really was going on between Kemp and Puig (and don’t forget to email, tweet, Facebook, Pinterest, Linkedin to all your friends):
-- Kemp was irate Puig wouldn’t make that fantasy football trade.
-- There is only one rooster allowed in the henhouse.
-- Perhaps, logically, Kemp was unhappy Puig had not hustled to third from first on an Adrian Gonzalez’s single in the sixth.
This might be it, though on the long list of Puig transgressions, this seems relatively mild. Unless …
-- Kemp, like most of the clubhouse, is weary of Puig’s relaxed preparation to the game. Particularly, when Puig is coming out of a horrific slump. Players have reached the boiling point with Puig’s laissez faire approach.
-- Puig told Kemp that Juan Uribe owns the more dapper wardrobe. Some things you just don’t mess with.
-- Now that he’s starting to hit like the old Kemp, he feels more comfortable trying to take on a leadership role.
-- Had to be over a Hollywood starlet, right?
-- Kemp said the rules that apply to one player, apply to every player.
-- Puig said baseball stat wonks claim he’s the more prized player.
Hey, I could do this forever but at some point some archaic newspaper type might suggest I was just debasing myself for cheap hits. So out of touch.