Ways for the Dodgers to liven up a potentially dull camp

Ways for the Dodgers to liven up a potentially dull camp
Dodgers infielder Alex Guerrero fields a ball Feb. 11 during spring training. (Paul Sancya / Associated Press)

This shapes up as one of the Dodgers’ strangest spring camps, what with opening early to start the major-league season in Australia on March 22, then fly back, take four days off, oddly resume the exhibition season with three games against the Angels and then open the season – continental version – March 30 in San Diego.

That doesn't necessarily translate to an interesting camp. Truth be told, this could shaped up as one of the duller Dodgers camps ever.


There is precious little competition. Main interest will be in the fifth rotation spot and final bullpen lineup, unless you can get worked up over that backup infielder spot. Alex Guerrero has to prove he is really ready to be the starting second baseman.

And that's about it. The Dodgers team that finished last season is pretty much the one that will start the coming one. First full team workout is Friday.

So always wanting to liven things up for the boys, here are some suggestions on how things might be spiced up over the next six weeks:

+. Clayton Kershaw discovered using juiced pingpong balls.

+. Hanley Ramirez and Matt Kemp survive the spring without injury. Also, hell freezes over.

+. Manager Don Mattingly says if the front office really wants to make him feel loved, they should give him another three-year extension right now.

+. Cracker Barrel files a defamation lawsuit against A.J. Ellis.

+. Yasiel Puig hits a cut-off man, one day after being ticketed for driving too slowly on Interstate 10. Also, pigs fly.
+. Frank McCourt shows up at Camelback. Just for giggles.
+. Stan Kasten holds press conference to announce once and for all he was never Peter Boyles’ double for “Monster Ball,” though he did volunteer to stand in for Billy Bob Thornton in that one scene with Halle Berry.

+. Josh Beckett is throwing so well, he decides to get a rib removed on his other side.

+. Kenley Jansen, having mastered this reliever thing, asks to now become an outfielder.

+. Juan Uribe. That is all.

+. Orel Hershiser is suspended for three games for criticizing Mattingly’s managerial moves in the spring opener.

+. Brian Wilson grows a beard within the beard within the beard.

+. Zack Greinke retires to become commissioner of Yahoo Fantasy Football.

+. Dodgers have a race to determine camp’s fastest player between Dee Gordon and Puig, who are both upset by that new slimmer Hyun-Jun Ryu.

+. Mark Walter and Magic Johnson announce they are buying the Galaxy (the one in Los Angeles), because they can.

+. Vin Scully announces he will return in 2015.