Hey, mitts off my napkin

If you’ve eaten at a serious restaurant recently -- Patina, Cicada, Geoffrey’s, Lucques -- you’ve probably been the target of what might be diagnosed as neurotic napkin neatening.

You know the drill: You get up from the table to call the sitter to make sure everyone’s still alive and when you return, the napkin you left tossed casually aside has been transformed into an obsessively neat triangle or folded into an elaborate fan or hijacked and replaced altogether. At Patina, it’s hanging on the back of the chair when you return. At Michael’s, it’s draped over the arm of the chair. At the Wine Cask in Santa Barbara, a new napkin is on the table as soon as you’ve stepped away. Is David Copperfield in the house?

No, it’s just an odd bit of restaurant theater, performed by a vigilant waiter or busboy who leaps into action whenever -- gasp -- an unkempt napkin languishes, abandoned, like a stray.

“I’m kind of psychotic about it,” says Lucques co-owner Caroline Styne. “My thing is, when I look at a table, I want order.”

It’s not that we don’t appreciate that someone is paying attention. But the practice has become so elaborate, so obsequious. It’s over the top.

According to Jerry Fischetti, assistant professor of hospitality management at the Culinary Institute of America, napkin-snatching probably has its roots in the 16th century European custom of changing napkins for each course of a meal. A 10-course banquet meant 10 napkins, often scented and twisted into elaborate folds. “But refolding is probably not a good thing to do,” adds Fischetti. “We teach that it is not a sanitary practice.” In fact, that very issue was the subject of a CIA faculty debate. One professor remembers the exchange as “heated” and describes the opposing sides as overwhelmingly European (for) versus American (against).

In any case, many waiters refold only reluctantly.

“I’m not crazy about it, especially during cold and flu season,” offers a server at one upscale Westside dining room. Enough said.

-- Leslee Komaiko

A Chinatown guide

The center of Chinese gastronomy in Southern California long ago moved east to the San Gabriel Valley, but funky old Chinatown now has a Gold Line stop that makes it conveniently accessible to commuters from Long Beach to the San Fernando Valley.

In conjunction with the opening of the light rail line, Mike Woo, a former Los Angeles city councilman and all-around good eater, has put together a pamphlet on the neighborhood that includes a walking tour of landmarks as well as a restaurant list.

But the real treasure is the collection of neighborhood favorites from a cast that includes Henry Leong, president of the L.A. Chinese Chamber of Commerce(who favors Chow Fun Restaurant for its noodles) and Dorene Mendelson, astrological counselor (she likes Good Taste because “it’s the only one I trust to not use MSG”).

To receive a copy, call the Chinatown Business Improvement District at (213) 680-0243.

-- Russ Parsons