How’s my little pookie?

Can a near-perfect relationship stay the same when an attention-grabbing, ultra-prissy mini-pooch enters the picture? That’s one question that keeps me up at night -- along with the sporadic whimpering of my new Yorkshire terrier, Sherman.

I honestly don’t think that my guy knew exactly what he was getting into when he agreed to welcome a 5-pound dog into our home. After only a few days of calling ourselves Yorkie owners, he started to spastically yank his closely cropped head of hair out of fear. Sadly, I’m not referring to my dog.

And after hearing me call the dog “Poochie Woochie” for the 10th time in 10 minutes, my guy realized the awful truth: This dog was going to be getting way more attention and lovin’ than him.

What had happened? How did my guy lose his alpha dog status so quickly? And, more important, how was he going to share his woman with this “punt dog”?

My guy’s nightmares were now about the word half -- half the love, half the attention, hey, maybe even half the sex.

I know I’m not alone in this love triangle scenario. There are thousands of women like me in this city, some who tote their mini-pups around town as if they’re accessories, and others who somehow allow their dog’s clothing needs take precedence over their own.

Some guys I know steer clear of dating them like they avoid watching musicals. Even if the girl does look like Paris Hilton, that underarm pooch makes some men run for the hills -- specifically, perhaps, to Runyon Canyon -- to find a girl with a big dog that can actually walk up the trails.

So why do pooches like my Yorkie or Hilton’s jacket-wearing Chihuahua turn guys off?

For one, my guy explained to me as if I really was from Venus, some men firmly believe that they will eventually end up in an embarrassing situation with the dog.

It’s inevitable that one day the man will be forced to carry the little mutt in the girl’s pink handbag, which is their equivalent of carrying an oversized box of tampons around a crowded college campus. The humiliation is unavoidable.

Plus the little dogs can interfere with any planned romance. Men don’t want lap dogs. They want lap dances.

Even Britney Spears’ husband is forced to deal with mini-pooch drama.

According to the tabloids, Mr. Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, has become annoyed

by the amount of attention his wife pays to their three pint-sized dogs. The famous pop

couple reportedly missed out on a night out alone recently because of one of the little guy’s yelping.

Nevertheless, after contemplating my scenario for several weeks now, I’ve learned to believe that these love triangles can exist in harmony, even if, as in my scenario, the man came before the beast.

Although it may be difficult for some men to fathom, loving the little dogs is not complicated.

Heck, these mini-pooches can be hot commodities. Next time one of your buddies tries to con you into being his wingman and you want to be alone with your girl, let him borrow the dog for some matchmaking help. Remember, most chicks dig these dogs.

Also, no matter how annoying your woman gets, with comments like “I’m gonna get you,” and “You’re a good boy” in a high-pitched tone, just close your eyes and imagine her saying it to you -- in a sultry tone.

So c’mon guys -- give the girls with the little dogs a chance. Learn to embrace the mini-dogs, but don’t squish ‘em. Trust me, you’ll have your day, and probably your big Lab too.

As for me, I’ve got my bases covered. There’s nothing a belly rub can’t cure -- for either of the males in my life.

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Rachelle Crum can be reached at weekend@latimes.com.