Review: Brackish water floods ‘Shark Lake’

Dolph Lundgren stars as exotic animal dealer Clint Gray in “Shark Lake.”

We could end the review there, as that’s all you really need to know, but then we wouldn’t be able to explain that Clint is holding a shark in a Nevada lake for gangster client Don Barnes (James Chalke). When Clint gets raided by the authorities and hauled to prison, his young daughter, Carly (Lily Brooks O’Briant), is left in the care of an overzealous sheriff’s deputy (Sara Malakul Lane) — and the shark has free rein in the lake.

Five years later, Clint is free, but the gangster still expects his fish. Carly misses daddy. The shark needs to snack.

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Oceanographer Peter Mayes (Michael Aaron Milligan) has a theory about how a bull shark could survive brackish water, but does it matter?

You’ve heard of movies so bad they are actually good. This ain’t one. The makers of the “Sharknado” franchise totally get the perverse pleasure that viewers derive from B movies and the tongue-in-cheek irreverence these movies bring to pop culture. By contrast, “Shark Lake” lacks bite. Its audience doesn’t even get to revel in blood and guts; the whole thing seems like it was edited for broadcast.

If only Lundgren wrestling a shark could be as entertaining as Katy Perry dancing with two.

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“Shark Lake”

MPAA rating: None.

Running time: 1 hour, 32 minutes.

Playing: AMC Rolling Hills 20, Torrance. Also on VOD.