Adopt a cockroach or scorpion in honor of your ex for Valentine’s Day

Bitter breakup? Adopt a creeping, crawling creature in honor of your ex for Valentine’s Day. San Francisco Zoo suggests a Madagascar hissing cockroach or a giant hairy scorpion.

The zoo has a holiday special. For $25, you can send your former love an adoption certificate with his or her name on it along with a small plush scorpion or several plastic cockroaches in “a cute little red box,” a spokeswoman told the L.A. Times.

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It’s the first time the zoo has offered these $25 specials in its Adopt-an-Animal fundraising campaign, she said, which normally asks for $50 to $1,000.

The zoo bills the giant hairy scorpion as an aggressive, “alarmingly nocturnal” invertebrate that is usually found in and around low-elevation valleys, “much like your low-life ex.” And, the special says, “nothing says ‘I’ve moved on’ like adopting a giant cuddly cockroach in the name of your favorite ex.”

“We’re finding that people like these packages so much,” the spokeswoman said, “they are buying them for themselves and sending them to people they actually like.”

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