Time for red caps, blue caps

Finally, the campaign begins. Six months of real hope. A campaign where everybody is ready from Day 1. Six months to find out whether experience trumps youth. An outcome that won’t need a recount or the Supreme Court to make it official.

A real campaign.

No more kooky caucuses or fake feelings, no more overheated ministers or maligned Mormons. No more crossover voters or swing states. No endorsements to court, no superdelegates lying in wait.

Just good, old-fashioned country hardball. And not the program on MSNBC of the same name.

Believe it or not, something terrific is going to happen tomorrow night in Washington, D.C.: the start of the 2008 major league baseball season (let’s ignore those two Red Sox-A’s games this week in Japan). Then, on Monday, our local Angels and Dodgers open their campaigns.

You think you know how things are going to turn out?

You don’t. That’s the beauty of it. Lots of issues will be hashed out between now and then, such as whether your favorite team has enough pitching or whether your rookies are ready.

Still, there are some things we do know. The campaign will help take our minds off credit crunches and gas prices.

In fact, speaking only for myself:

I’m way tired of watching rants from the Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr., but I could watch Cubs manager Lou Piniella throw a temper tantrum every day of the week.

Vladimir Guerrero has got it all over Vladimir Putin. Especially with men on base in the late innings.

Eye black is a better accessory than pancake makeup.

For the next six months, you can have CNN. I’ll take ESPN.

The best debates aren’t over healthcare but whether to yank the starting pitcher or leave him in for one more hitter.

Denver is a good town for a national convention in August but an even better place for a baseball game.

The only spinning I care about is the kind a pitcher applies to his curveball.

Is John McCain, at 71, too old to be running for president? Isn’t a more pressing question whether Joe Torre, at 67, is too old to manage the Dodgers?

If we must root against overly moneyed interests from Massachusetts, shouldn’t it be the Red Sox and not Mitt Romney?

Can a woman or African American ever win the presidency? Here’s a much tougher question: Can the Cubs can ever win another World Series?

The media loves to play “gotcha,” but my favorite kind is when the first baseman tags out a runner who takes too big a leadoff.

Speaking of which, the true definition of a gaffe is finding yourself caught in a rundown between third base and home.

Superstar Derek Jeter. Superdelegate Howard Dean. Whom would you rather have dinner with?

We’ve been told we should have a national discussion about race. A good idea, but sounds like it could get testy. Wouldn’t it be a lot less stressful to have a national discussion about the pennant race?

What’s worse? Watching your stock plummet on Nasdaq or your favorite team in the standings? I’m a lifelong Pirates fan, the Enron of the National League.

Are you in a red state or a blue state? Around here, that tells people whether you’re an Angels fan or bleed Dodger blue.

We’ll probably know who the next president is on Nov. 4.

We’ll probably know who won the World Series by Nov. 1.

What kind of odds could you get on an Obama-Mets outcome?

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Dana Parsons’ column appears Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays. He can be reached at (714) 966-7821 or at dana.parsons@latimes.com. An archive of his recent columns is at www.latimes.com/parsons.