Recipients will say: You shouldn’t have

An $8,000 Mr. Potato Head, a canister of Mother Teresa breath spray, a thumb-wrestling arena and a kinder, gentler fly swatter. These are some of the must-have Christmas gifts for the man, woman or pet who has everything.

Reflecto Television

“Mirror, mirror on the wall. Why do I look like Morley Safer?” Don’t be alarmed. It’s just the TV set inside your bathroom mirror. With a click of the remote, a 15-inch LCD screen materializes in the mirror, enabling you to apply makeup, shave or brush your teeth while watching your favorite show. When turned off, the TV is invisible. $3,349 from smarthome.com.

Get Ready to Thumble!

Place this miniature wrestling ring, complete with elastic ropes, over any two thumbs and let the games begin. The Pro Thumb arena retails for $6.50 at hogwild.com. Thumbs not included.

Bel-Air Potato Head

If Liberace were reincarnated as a tuber, he’d probably look like Neiman Marcus’ $8,000 Mr. Potato Head. The blinged-out vegetable is covered head to toe with 23,000 Swarovski crystals. Can a jewel-encrusted Gumby and Pokey be far behind?

Couldn’t Hurt a Fly

People for the Ethical Treatment of Insects will be buzzing about the Rosendahl fly swatter. The brush-like gadget, made with 350 polyester bristles, is designed to stun but not kill its prey. $50 at Modern Living, 8775 Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles.

Retro Cellphones

For people who can’t quite adjust from land lines to cellphones, the perfect gift is Pokia .com’s “Retro phone of the future.” It’s an antique handset that plugs into nearly any type of cellphone. The only hang-up is hanging up. As one reviewer explained, “I kept wanting to place the receiver on the body of a phone that wasn’t there.” Designer Nicolas Roope sells the receivers on eBay for $60 and up. Knockoff versions are also available.

Saintly Breath

For that special someone with unheavenly breath, give the gift of Mother Teresa Breath Mist. The $5 peppermint spray promises deliverance from the “ungodly scourge of halitosis.” Visit blueq.com for a store list.

Little Deuce Blimp

In car-crazy L.A., it’s tough to stand out from the crowd. Hummers and luxury automobiles are a dime a dozen. What’s a status-conscious Westsider to do? Visit neimanmarcus.com and be the first on your block to own a $10-million zeppelin and a $1.7-million submarine (unless you live on John Travolta’s block; he just bought one of the 8-ton blimps, according to news reports). The helium-powered zeppelin carries 15 passengers. Sadly, parallel parking could be a problem because the blimp is 230 feet long. Meanwhile, for aquatic transportation, climb aboard the Deep Flight Aviator, a 22-foot electric submarine that banks, rolls and dives like an airplane. Perfect for the hot tub.

T-bone Carpet

Carnivores will salivate over Mcphee.com’s cushiony meat throw rug, which resembles a giant hunk of raw steak. The website also peddles meat-emblazoned shower curtains. Don’t forget the A-1 sauce! The rug sells for $13.95.

Airhead Trophy

Hang this inflatable deer head on your wall and tell guests you shot it with an air rifle. Endorsed by People for the Ethical Treatment of Inflatable Animals. $19.95 at baronbob.com.

$65,000 Question

Walk a mile in these moccasins, but only if you’re accompanied by armed guards. Just in time for Christmas, Reebok introduces the Allen Iverson Question, a diamond-studded tennis shoe with a price tag that makes Manolos seem like flip-flops by comparison -- $65,000. The custom-made sneakers, bedecked with 246 diamonds, include a combination-lock steel suitcase for “optimal security.” Available from eastbay.com, a subsidiary of Foot Locker.

Budget Bookshelf

For a mere $13,995, you can own a fully stocked oak bookcase from Assouline Publishing. To set the proper mood, the shelf comes with three scented candles that reportedly smell like “leather bindings and wonderful old libraries.” Available at Saks.

Anatomy Pillows

You’ll have to travel overseas to find this gift, but it’s worth the hassle. For women, there’s the Boyfriend’s Arm Pillow, a headless fake torso and limb marketed to single Japanese women. Men can cozy up to the new $90 Lap Pillow, a foam female lap (wearing a short red skirt) that reportedly conjures memories of a child resting his head on his mother’s lap. Yeah, sure.

And don’t forget stocking stuffers:

* His and her bowling alley. A four-lane, 5,000-square-foot bowling center that comes with its own bar, bowling shoes and professional lessons. $1.45 million at neimanmarcus.com.

* Vail manhole covers. To discourage thefts of the real thing, Colorado’s renowned ski town sells replica cast-iron lids for $320 at ownapieceofvail.com. Manhole jewelry is also available, along with mini-manhole covers in a “bronze verde patina.”

* Digital dog tag. Bring your pooch into the 21st century with Neiman Marcus’ Dog-E-Tag, a battery-powered ID locket that stores 40 lines of information (in English, German, Spanish, Italian or French), such as address, phone number and dietary needs. $40.

* Lord’s Prayer boxer shorts. Underwear stenciled with Christianity’s famous supplication. $11.99 at webundies.com.

* Arrest deck. A deck of cards featuring mug shots of arrested celebrities, including Nick Nolte, Michael Jackson, Anna Nicole Smith, O.J. Simpson and Pee-Wee Herman. $6.95 at starz behindbarz.com.

* Om phone. A gadget that changes your telephone’s ring to the resonating tones of a Tibetan brass bowl. $120 at now- zen.com.