Lakers’ scary new look may prove a snarl for the Magic

Did you ever notice you can never find a conspiracy when you need one?

That Kobe Bryant-LeBron James matchup we didn’t get started looking a lot better Thursday night as the Lakers reduced the Orlando Magic to its constituent parts, which it must try to put back together by Sunday.

For the record, as every player associated with both teams emphasized, it was one game and this isn’t over.

It just feels as if it is.

Not that Cleveland looked so impressive by the end of the Eastern Conference finals, but having failed to deliver the Cavaliers to these Finals, the NBA is stuck with the Magic as half of the bill.

Orlando came in with a reputation as a dragon slayer, but they may not have any dragons quite like this in the East.

Picture a huge footprint, stamped into the Earth.

Picture the Magic, flattened at the bottom of it.

The Lakers came in with a newfound humility, though that may be in jeopardy now.

On the other hand, these are the New Scary Look Lakers.

The new look is Kobe Bryant’s bared-teeth grimace, which he flashed in Game 6 in Denver while exhorting teammates to keep pouring it on the Nuggets.

He bared the teeth again Thursday night, while jutting his jaw out for a truly fearsome look, after hitting a 10-footer on which he was fouled in the third quarter.

“I just want it so bad, that’s all,” Bryant said afterward, still in barely conscious mode in the interview room. “I just want it so bad.

“You just put everything into the game and your emotions flow out.”

That was as expressive as he got in another somber session, which apparently is becoming a lifestyle.

“My kids are calling me Grumpy from the Seven Dwarfs,” he said, even flashing a rare grin!

Only three weeks ago the Lakers were reviled for their no-show in Game 4 in Houston, with Bryant, a knife-between-the-teeth competitor, in a never-before-seen understanding mode, following the lead of Phil (What Me, Worry?) Jackson.

For Lakers fans, it was also a refreshing change from last spring, when the Lakers tripped merrily into Boston as favorites to beat Boston.

Talking about the Lakers’ 0-2 record against the Celtics that season, Jackson noted that the first one had been the day after Thanksgiving, when they were “full of turkey.”

In the second, he noted, “We wore those short shorts that night and lost our attitude early in the game. I think the guys got a little tight.”

I think he meant they were tight mentally.

Jackson is actually whimsical in most situations, but he took it to new heights after Game 1, joking about Paul Pierce’s wheelchair exit.

That was then, this is now, with all whimsy a memory.

I know you have questions. Being old school, that is, pre- BlackBerry, I’ll try to sense them by telepathy:

With Jackson’s teams 43-0 in series after winning the opener, what does that say about the Magic’s chances?

Zip.

Why?

This isn’t numerology.

So what are the Magic’s chances Sunday?

Let’s just put it this way: After Thursday’s game, Jackson’s record in openers is one of the few things that doesn’t suggest trouble for the Magic.

What’s this doing for Bryant?

Are you familiar with the phrase “historical revision”?

How can people who bashed him as selfish and aloof from teammates, and said he ran Shaquille O’Neal off, do a 180 and start pumping him up?

Watch any show on ESPN today and see.

Now on sale in the Lakers’ gift shop: a set of teeth, uppers and lowers, with No. 24 on the mandible, in your choice of purple or gold, $24.95.

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mark.heisler@latimes.com