Worst expensive restaurant experience

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Foodies tend to keep records of the number of times they’ve eaten at a three-star Michelin restaurant or the most truffles they’ve ever consumed. Some will e-mail friends and strangers their constantly updated guide to favorite restaurants in the great capitals of the world -- whether or not the recipient is interested. It’s a form of bragging, yes. But what about the worst restaurant experiences? Those often go unmentioned when they can make for an entertaining story.

I’ll go first. Here’s one from my archives.

Years ago, traveling in Spain on a train from Andalucia to Madrid, I met a young woman who claimed her aunt was one of the best chefs in Spain and I just had to eat at her restaurant in Madrid. She was so persuasive, and I was such an easy mark for the idea of a woman chef in Spain, that I agreed. It was in a tony section of the city -- I don’t remember where now, or even her name. The place had an ultramodern décor. First, we were invited for an aperitif and subjected to a guitar player singing “Feelings” for what seemed like two hours directly in front of us so there was no escaping. Can I say that I loathe the song? And that this was sheer misery? Not only that, but having to keep a straight face in front of this hapless musician.

Nothing on the menu was very Spanish. It was international luxe cuisine all the way -- filet mignon, foie gras, lobster. A complete and utter snore. And it was excruciating sitting there knowing we’d just used up our splurge money on a meal I could have gotten at any pretentious restaurant anywhere in the world. I couldn’t relax, either, always on the lookout in case the guitar player was going to launch into “Feelings” again. We could not wait to leave. And as soon as we paid our incredibly expensive bill and got out the door, we started running through the streets, giddy at finally escaping.

Let’s hear from you re any regrettably painful restaurant experiences, especially the expensive ones.

-- S. Irene Virbila