PREACH IT! My eyes! They burn! As I write this story! The pain! The paaaaaiiin! (and a poll)

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Every once in a while a celebrity story comes along that tips the skank scale even for us gossip hounds.

Such stories are so highly toxic that hazmat suits and safety goggles are recommended before viewing.


The Ministry of Gossip cannot be held responsible for any communicable diseases, skin outbreaks, poisoning, cancerous growths or any other medical issues that may arise in connection with reading the following statement.

Michael Lohan -- father of Lindsay and former best friend of Jon Gosselin -- and Kate Major -- onetime tabloid reporter and erstwhile girlfriend of Gosselin -- are reportedly dating.

She is apparently 26; he is 49.

Pause while I fumigate my keyboard and order a steam cleaning of the motherboard over at the Genius Bar. Oh, shouldn’t have done that. Yet. There’s more. “The two, who have been reportedly seeing one another on the sly for quite some time, are getting serious,” Hollywood Life reports.

“So serious, in fact, that they decided to get matching tattoos together — although Kate insists their tats have completely different meanings.

“ ‘Michael got his dedicated to his family, God and a new life. I got mine for my mother who passed away four years ago,’ Kate explains. ‘Both have significant meanings.’ ” Exactly where this couple falls on the Skank-o-Meter I am leaving up to you, the kids in the pews. Who exactly is the skankiest celebrity couple the world has ever known? Place your vote!

-- Leslie Gornstein

P.S.: And if you vote ‘other,’ you dang well better tell us in comments who you meant.

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