Trust Miss USA Rima Fakih -- we Americans always wear stripper heels with our oversized eagle wings
This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.
For anyone who’s visiting this blog from outside the United States -- and we know you’re there, ‘cause you comment like crazy on posts about Michael Jackson and Angelina Jolie -- let the Ministry of Gossip break the news to you gently: Americans don’t dress like you think we dress.
The myths about Americans cruising around comfortably in Levi’s and T-shirts? Or maybe in cheaply made stretch pants and XXXL T-shirts? Lies, lies, lies.
Here in the land of the free and the home of the brave, we prefer to dress like Miss USA Rima Fakih did in the run-up to Monday’s Miss Universe Pageant -- in golden-eagle outfits designed by a Victoria’s Secret costumer and modeled after the bird on the presidential seal.
Hey, y’all should see what we wear on the weekends.
-- Christie D’Zurilla