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Houses sit on the market, lenders fail, markets fall, hedge funds blow up, but Kate in the Valley keeps on looking for a house. We’re glad, because that means she keeps on writing her house-hunting diary. Enjoy.

I’ve taken the bait and made some rookie mistakes in my house hunt (as y’all know). The bait for Rookie Mistake Numero Uno can be found in tons of MLS descriptions, it reads: ‘All offers considered’ or ‘Bring all offers.’ I naively thought this meant: ‘Seller is willing to negotiate.’ Ha ha ha! Nothing could be further from the truth. More than once, I was the dummy that that took the bait and submitted an offer right away only to get iced for weeks on end while the listing agent attempted to drum up other bids using my offer as the lure. ‘I already have one offer, this property is going to move fast!’ the listing agent no doubt crowed at every other prospective buyer.

And that statement is, of course, the bait for Rookie Mistake Numero Dos. I thought that ‘I already have one offer, this property is going to move fast!’ meant the house was virtually sold. Yeah, not so much. If the seller actually liked the offer, he’d be in escrow not acting like a barker on the carnival fairway. After getting sucked into this bidding war game a couple of times, I flat out refused to participate. ‘Oh, you already have an offer in? Okay. Well, I guess it’s not the house for me.’ There’s always another house, especially these days.

The bait for Rookie Mistake Numero Tres happens at the open house. The listing agent will ask: ‘Are you already working with an agent?’ This question seems so innocent but if you’re fool enough to say you don’t have an agent, then you can be sure that this one will hound you day and night until she breaks down your very will to live. The phone calls and emails will be non-stop. After saying that I would consider using one listing agent’s services, I turned to leave the house and he literally screamed after me: ‘I need clients!’ Yes. He. Did. An agent in the Fashion Square district, after learning I was unrepresented, ran up the street behind my car flailing her arms because she noticed I didn’t leave any contact information on the sign-in sheet. Mr. Kate was stunned. A duo I met in Studio City have been sending me emails for three months that say things like: ‘We talked to the listing agent on Property X for you… they are willing to take $50k below list!’ First off, I have never once responded to any of their emails or seen any properties with them, why on earth would they be talking to listing agents on my behalf? They optimistically sign each email with something like: ‘We’re out there working for you!’ No you are not. I just put my name on your sign in sheet, I didn’t bloody hire you. I finally started leaving a junk email address that I rarely check on the sign-in sheets; I just couldn’t take it anymore. This house hunt definitely has been (and still is!) a learning experience.’

Comments? Insights? Be polite.
Read Kate’s house-hunting blog here.