Opinion: What new Americans <i>really</i> need to know
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Where is the Statue of Liberty?
New York? Correct. New Jersey? That’s also correct, according to the new citizenship test rolled out last week by the U.S. Bureau of Citizenship and Immigration Services.
One spot, two states—what a country.
Other vital information for would-be Americans to study? “What is the minimum wage?” (Apparently new citizens need to know the absolute least amount of money—$5.15/hour—they can possibly earn).
To be fair, most of the new citizenship questions are a big improvement over some of the lame ones on the current test, which includes this zinger: “What form is used to apply for citizenship?”
The idea is to test those seeking to pledge an oath of allegiance to the United States on their understanding of principles, not their rote memory. So, for example, instead of asking the applicant just to name the three branches of government, the new test would ask, ‘Why do we have three branches of government?’
But since now is the time for suggestions and criticisms about the revamped test—it won’t be introduced until 2008—we note one significant oversight. On a test meant to gauge immigrants’ knowledge about citizens’ rights and responsibilities, missing is a question regarding freedom of the press.
We are being admittedly parochial here, but a free press is essential to our democracy and the right to gather and disseminate information without fear of political persecution distinguishes the United States from many countries. There is a reason this freedom is made explicit in the Bill of Rights’ First Amendment.
Whether they like Rush Limbaugh or Al Franken, The Nation or The National Review, Dailykos.com or Redstate.com, Americans are free to praise, censure and ridicule their elected officials and government, and immigrants should cherish this freedom.
And while we’re at it, here’s what else immigrants really need to know: Football here is soccer. The metric system never caught on. We are uptight about smoking. Even if we didn’t invent them we think hot dogs, pizza and French fries are American. Salsa is now more popular than ketchup and in California, Jose long ago replaced John as the most popular boys name. After one introduction, using first names is fine, and there is no formal way of saying “you.” The number 13 is bad luck; the number 7 is good luck (except at the craps tables) and periods are used for decimal points, not commas.
Oh, and we play the World Series with just ourselves. It doesn’t make sense—sort of like a statue being in two places at once—but that’s how it is.