Opinion: Immigrant song, the finale

Having read the immigration debate between Tamar Jacoby and Mark Krikorian, I’ve concluded that both make some sound arguments and some that are just silly. In the national debate, it seems that one side of the debate wants to make immigration reform punitive (like the idiot congressman who proposed that otherwise law-abiding people struggling for economic survival be made felons) and the other side wants a self-serving capitulation (amnesty). The scourge of political correctness is also being wielded by the John Lennon crowd (‘Imagine there’s no countries...’) as a cudgel in the debate. Let’s stop being hypocritical here. ‘Immigration Reform’ are code words for ‘Kick the Mexicans and Central Americans out.’ I don’t hear anyone wanting to build a fence along the Canadian border. Would we even notice or care if 12 million Canadians with a language and culture virtually identical to ours were here? I don’t believe that Americans feel animosity toward Hispanics per se, just the imagined insistence that we adapt to their language and culture rather than them adapting to ours. Frankly, if my family and I were in the hopeless economic position that the Mexicans are in, I’d sneak across the border, too.

Both of the ideas of creating a fence along the Mexican border and deporting millions of people are absurd, unworkable and damned unfriendly toward our southern neighbors. Talk of amnesty will only encourage more people to come here illegally. What to do? My thoughts are as follows -- Step 1: The idea makes me gnash my Liberal and Libertarian teeth, but the time has come to create a national photo ID card for all U.S. citizens and legal guests, sort of an internal passport. This would supplant the driver’s license as ID for security purposes at airports, banks, etc. We already have a national ID number (called a Social Security number), so Americans will probably be able to swallow the idea despite the images that some of us remember from the old WW2 propaganda movies of the past (‘Let me zee your papers.’). Step 2: Tie the ID card into a government web site so that employers, police, DMVs, airport ticketing agents, et al. can easily check the validity and authenticity of the card by comparing the picture and number on the screen to the picture and number in hand. It might even reduce run-of-the-mill identity theft as well. Step 3: Since some businesses really do need low-wage labor, create a guest worker program to fulfill the need. Illegals with jobs and school-age children born in the US would be given top priority, followed by those who own their homes in the U.S., and those who can show a 4-year history of steady employment with the same employer here. The rest would have to register at the U.S. embassy in their own countries in order to gain entry into the program and the U.S.. This would allow guest workers to freely cross the border to visit their families and would eliminate the need for a ridiculous border fence. Income tax revenues would also increase. Step 4: Fine employers $25,000 per undocumented worker found working for them. I imagine that this would keep employers alert and would eliminate the need for mass deportation since illegals are here primarily for the jobs. They’ll go home of their own accord if they can’t find work due to not being registered in the guest worker program. Step 5: Eliminate the outdated law that gives automatic citizenship to children born in the U.S., unless their parents are officially tracking toward citizenship. This seems to be a fairly simple and workable solution without being overly simplistic.