Opinion: Name game

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What’s in a name? Maybe a criminal record. A study by economists at Shippensburg University in my native state of Pennsylvania found that adolescent boys with the least popular names were more likely to commit crimes. I took special pride in this summary of the study by London’s Daily Telegraph:

‘David E. Kalist and Daniel Y. Lee compared the first names of juvenile offenders in one US state with the first names of young males in the general population of that state.

‘They assigned a popularity-name index (PNI) for each name based on how common it is among the general population and how unlikely it is to be associated with criminal behavior. Therefore for Michael, the PNI is 100 while for David, it is 50. For names such as Alec, Ernest, Ivan, Kareem, and Malcolm, however, the PNI came out around one.’

I have wriiten before about my discomfiture with the popularity of faddish boys’ names such as Ethan, Jared, Kyle, Joshua and Ryan. But if those trendy names continue to proliferate, the day may come when little Ethan will be less ‘at risk’ (as sociologists like to say) than little Mikey.

Even if that occurs, some names will remain so unusual that -- if the researchers are right -- parents still might want to think twice about naming their son ‘Steeler Gerard’ (as some Pittsburgh football fans did) or ‘Seven,’ George’s preferred name for his imaginary child on ‘Seinfeld.’

What isn’t clear is why oddly named boys disproportionately gravitate to the dark side. The study suggests two possibilities: These unfortunate kids “are treated differently by their peers, making it more difficult for them to form relationships . . Or young people with unpopular names may “act out because they consciously or unconsciously dislike their names.”

But maybe being saddled with a bizarre name is a mixed curse. In the hit song ‘A Boy Named Sue,’ the eponymous narrator attacks the father who saddled him with the S word. But Dad has a comeback:

And he said: ‘Son, this world is rough
And if a man’s gonna make it, he’s gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn’t be there to help ya along.
So I give ya that name and I said goodbye
I knew you’d have to get tough or die
And it’s the name that helped to make you strong.’

Certainly for Johnny Cash ‘Sue’ was a winner. I don’t think he would have scored with ‘A Boy Named Mike.’ ‘