‘American Idol’: Friends are for the weak

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Three segments into Wednesday night�s episode of American Idol, host Ryan Seacrest asked a young woman who had just flunked her audition, and blamed the failure on nerves, ‘So you don’t normally sound like a goat?’ The young woman paused for half an instant before answering: ‘I hope not. Otherwise people have been lying to me.’

If there is one message to take away from the audition episodes of the most powerful show in the history of television, it is this: Do not trust your friends!

The thrill of the audition weeks is piecing together what on Earth these people can possibly be thinking the freaks, the uncoordinated, the tone deaf, the wearers of hot-pink mesh body stockings. Can they actually believe that their screeching is passable singing, even in a neighborhood karaoke bar? Are they that deeply deluded about how they are seen? Or is it just a joke to get on TV? One possible explanation that suggested itself repeatedly Wednesday night was the malevolent influence of friends in a person’s life friends who reassure you, who tell you, �No, really, you have an amazing voice.� Friends whose fear of upsetting you leads you to wear that ridiculous suede vest in public � or to audition for �American Idol.� Well, if we didn�t have friends in life, perhaps we wouldn�t need Simon Cowell.