‘American Idol’: Stable ground in Memphis

This article was originally on a blog post platform and may be missing photos, graphics or links. See About archive blog posts.

Memphis, the third stop on the ‘American Idol’ audition tour, produced the fodder for the perfect mini-episode. Toning back the theater of cruelty to just the right degree of compassionate viciousness, mixed with a couple of diamonds in the rough, a few jaw-dropping human oddities and an aw, shucks ending, the Memphis days restored the heavyweight champion show’s balance after a wobbly first week.

Clocking in with remarkable restraint at a single hour of prime-time television rather than the standard two (barely more than the State of the Union address), Tuesday’s episode soared. Last week’s double-feature of premieres seemed uncertain, largely because of the parade of contenders to the William Hung throne, who were genuinely, impressively freakish, and showed unflinching commitment to their bizarre talents. Memphis’ hopefuls were the real deal of the alternate reality showcase. From a dancing queen who threatened to tumble out of her precarious V-neck during a frenzied ‘Disco Inferno’ to a 300-pound lug who planned to become the next American Idol to teach his cheating ex-wife a lesson to a very slow-talking teenager who may have actually been handicapped, the sideshow delivered in Memphis.

Clocking in with remarkable restraint at a single hour of prime-time television rather than the standard two (barely more than the State of the Union address), Tuesday’s episode soared. Last week’s double-feature of premieres seemed uncertain, largely because of the parade of contenders to the William Hung throne, who were genuinely, impressively freakish, and showed unflinching commitment to their bizarre talents. Memphis’ hopefuls were the real deal of the alternate reality showcase. From a dancing queen who threatened to tumble out of her precarious V-neck during a frenzied ‘Disco Inferno’ to a 300-pound lug who planned to become the next American Idol to teach his cheating ex-wife a lesson to a very slow-talking teenager who may have actually been handicapped, the sideshow delivered in Memphis.

Interestingly, with the more obviously delusional guests the judges seemed to soften the blow of destroying their deepest hopes and dreams; pausing for moments of, not quite, but almost, sympathy before sending a few on their way.

And for the first time this season, a few contenders with the potential to go the distance emerged: a blues singer with perhaps the most offensively giant soul patch ever to appear on network television, and another, an insecure backup singer taking a first tentative step into the foreground. Both provided those other moments that the audition shows are about — when some unlikely, unimpressive-seeming nobody from nowhere steps before the judges and the Earth suddenly pauses on its axis as 30 million viewers say ‘Are we crazy or can that little mutt actually sing?’

Best line of the night: Paula Abdul to Danielle, an 18-year-old with a very complex bed-head cut and bejeweled burgundy halter top after her performance of ‘Baby, I Love You’: ‘You have an old soul.’

— Richard Rushfield