Review: ‘Knights of Bloodsteel’

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Imagine, if you will, that Peter Jackson offered, as an Internet sweepstakes prize or part of a school silent auction, the opportunity to visit the costume and prop collections from “Lord of the Rings” and keep anything that could be shoved into a cart in, say, 30 minutes.

Imagine the person who won then decided to wrangle a bunch of friends, many of whom seem to have received their only acting experience through local Renaissance Faires, into making a movie. Imagine one of those friends somehow knew Christopher Lloyd and managed to convince him that if Ian McKellen and Michael Gambon could don fantasy-flavored robes and silver wig hats and still deliver commanding performances then he could too.

Got it? Well, now you can watch it on Sci Fi, but only if you literally have nothing else to do. “Knights of Bloodsteel” is so bad it’s not even good-bad, it’s just bad-bad.

The four-hour, two-part movie tells the tale of Mirabilis, a mythical land chock full of humans, elves and goblins in which the only thing of value, apparently, is a magical metal called bloodsteel. What little remains is controlled by the awful and horrible Dragon Eye (Mark Gibbon), a monster so ridiculously hideous he looks like he was drafted from a later episode of “The Power Rangers.”

Read more Review: ‘Knights of Bloodsteel’

(Photo courtesy Sci Fi Channel)