‘Entourage’: Career opportunities

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Happy birthday, Turtle! Our favorite one-named hat-wearer has turned the big 3-0. In his scary mama’s eyes, however, that officially makes him too old to ride on coattails and be spotted in People magazine wearing sneakers (even patent leather ones). And as vicious as Mom was (really, she could be one of those “Scared Straight” guards with that bark. A Weight Watchers gift certificate for your 13th birthday? Ouch), it was amusing to see Turtle shrink to all of about 3 inches after being ordered by his mother to do something with his sorry excuse for a life.

Understandably, the verbal lashing he received left a mark and sent Turtle down an existential spiral. And try though his friends might, nothing could shake our resident driver from the birthday blues. Not even the Ferrari joy ride Vince arranged (which looked awesome, by the way -- one of the best fantasies in this already wish-fulfillment-heavy series).

It didn’t help that Vince and Jamie-Lynn both cemented Turtle’s position as resident hanger-on by gifting him with fancy new cars. Or when 50 Cent (Curtis) pulled up along Turtle and lightly chided him for driving “Daddy” Vince’s ride.

So Turtle decided to come out of his shell and make a name for himself, and turned to Ari for help. I, for one, enjoyed how the agent played designated career counselor in this episode. “Did you tell them about your hat collection?” asked Ari, when Turtle revealed the bank refused a loan request because he had no collateral. Ha! And I loved how Ari systematically unraveled Turtle’s unformed wisp of a business idea with a much-needed reality check. “Do you know what it takes to make something of yourself?” Ari asked. “Do you have a business plan? ... What do you project to earn? What do you need to break even? ...” Preach it, Ari. This should be required viewing for those yahoos who think a really good idea is all that separates them from a sackful of money and the cover of Time. Apparently this tough love worked on Turtle, as he, on Jamie-Lynn’s suggestion, decided to go back to school and take business management classes at UCLA Extension. Maybe Ari and Jamie-Lynn “coagulated”?

E also got a dose of tough Ari love when he discovered his client, Charlie, was being let go from his own television series. Taking a page from the Ari Gold-en rule book, E boldly accused studio exec Amy Miller of racism as a last-ditch effort to keep his client on the show. And while the brazen lie didn’t work, I liked how Ari showed somewhat of a fatherly pride toward the burgeoning manager for “going for it.” “Next time, you’ll come up with a better lie,” Ari encouraged.

Other notes: Vince gets a 10 percent discount on Ferraris for portraying one, and it looks like little Ashley might be sticking around E’s bachelor pad a little longer. Best Drama reading of the night (other than his hilarious misuse of the word “coagulate”) was in response to E suddenly going MIA: “Maybe he’s just so small that nobody can find him.”

What did you think? What’s your favorite wish-fulfillment fantasy on the show? Anyone miss Sloan, now that Ashley and E are an item? Will Drama get a love interest next week?

— Allyssa Lee