‘Gossip Girl’: Menage a what?!?

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Really, ‘Gossip Girl’? Monday night’s hotly anticipated threesome episode succeeded in provoking reaction, criticism and discussion, particularly from this reviewer. Hints at how it would transpire came early in the episode -- Vanessa’s introduction of a list of ’15 things you must do before graduating college in New York’ was a dead giveaway -- yet I still sat there horrified as the moment slowly unfolded. It wasn’t the threesome as an act that disturbed me; it was the participants involved that invoked such furious tweeting on my BlackBerry.

Dan? Olivia? Vanessa? Gag me. It was purposefully cliche -- freshman year, two roommates, the roommate’s boyfriend, shots of tequila. All they needed was a futon bed and a guy passed out in the corner to make that scenario truly realistic. What elicited a reaction from me was the fact that Dan and Vanessa had compromised their friendship. Is nothing sacred anymore? The situation gets even more complicated after Olivia learns she won’t be leaving school after all, but even if they somehow find a peaceful ground in the aftermath, there’s no turning back. In real life, when two best friends do the deed, it either makes or breaks the relationship. If the love is unrequited, there’s no ‘getting over it’ while still sipping lattes together at the neighborhood cafe. Does that mean Vanessa’s end is near? They surely can’t have her dating Dan ... or could they? I shudder at the idea.

The most amusing part about the threesome was Hilary Duff’s involvement. If this was her segue into more adult roles, she’s surely got an enthusiastic game face on. In the days prior to last night’s episode, the Parents Television Council was in a tizzy over the moral consequences of including a threesome story on a teen show. They must have gotten word that Lizzie McGuire was one of the three. I’m looking forward to seeing Olivia’s bitchy side, which will rear its head in the fallout next week.

Three-way aside, the bulk of the episode dealt with the current feud between Jenny and Eric. It was cotillion time on the Upper East Side and Little J was determined to say goodbye to ‘Jenny from Brooklyn’ with a splashy debut into society. Eric, on the other hand, wanted to teach his former-BFF a lesson but realized that playing her game was the only way to reach her. And play he did. From his text manipulation skills to his artful propensity for blackmail, E’s got raw talent. The way he sabotaged Jenny’s cotillion date and formed an alliance with Blair were signs of a budding pro. I vote to make him Queen Bee!


Eric’s efforts to take Jenny down did not have its desired effects. His and Blair’s use of the awkward, frizzy-haired Kira was pitiful, though it did earn him a minion. Jenny’s quick thinking (and Nate’s status as the king of cotillions) put her back on top, but her war with Eric is far from over. Now that his relationship with Jonathan had served as collateral damage, E will be out for blood.

Meanwhile, Serena added yet another stereotype to her resume. The sexy blond congressional mistress? There must be more productive ways she can iron out her daddy issues. Speaking of which, Daddy Van der Woodsen’s big reveal is on the horizon. I can’t wait to see who they cast for that role.

What did you think of the episode? Did the threesome meet your expectations? Does Eric have what it takes to dethrone Jenny?
-- Enid Portuguez