‘Survivor’ recap: Milking the clock

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All hail Marty!

The “Survivor” contestant has made not one but two huge gambles and is still competing in Nicaragua! For his reward, he … um … he … will likely go home next week?

I think, in baseball terms, we would call that an error. There were lots of ’em all over the place this week, but thanks to some sort of momentum shift, it wasn’t the same people tripping over themselves.


Little error: Espada’s Dan calling himself “Teflon Dan” after surviving yet another tribal council, while later having to have his cannot-be-mentioned-here blurred and looking the most pitiful trying to make a jump shot in a reward challenge on his bad knee.

Huge error: Even after last week’s dramatic tribal council, Marty directs his anger at his “ally” Jane and still trusts Brenda and Sash. ‘Cause he’s so in control of the situation. Sash comes to him and basically says, “Hey, if you keep your immunity idol, we’ll vote out Jill. But if you give it to me, we’ll vote out Jill.” Then Sash promises to give it back to him next week if their tribe loses. And Marty gives it to him. Can we have a little CBS sweeps stunt and have this happen to the grandmaster already?

But first, did you catch the sneak peek of the pilot for “The Jane Show”? Was it not the best thing you’ve seen so far this season? I tell you, that woman’s a star and is the No. 1 person to root for here. I mean, she laughed in Marty’s face when he slyly accused her of voting for him at tribal council, went and caught a bunch of fish, then ate a whole catfish herself in the woods. Top that.

Also awesome? Benry. At a basketball/soccer-like reward challenge, where Fabio peed in the pool, Espada held off La Flor thanks due in part to some of Benry’s great juke moves. Espada won a trip to a Nicaraguan farm, where they rode horses, milked cows and cried over fresh tortillas, cheese and black beans and rice. But don’t get it twisted, NaOnka don’t play with animals’ nipples. *Over-the-top eye roll.*

Then at the tile-breaking immunity challenge, Espada stays on the ball and handily beats La Flor. One: La Flor was a mess here. Two: There was a seemingly/totally edited-in pause when Sash volunteered to sit out the challenge (following earlier edited-in *smile sparkle* sound effects for Brenda and Fabio, for whatever reason). I almost thought Sash was going home thanks to that, until he freakin’ got Marty to give him his freakin’ immunity idol.

At tribal council that night, Jeff Probst went in on La Flor, asking all the right questions to get the Marty-Jane stuff out and the silliness over the immunity idol. He even got Sash to slip and allude to later losing trust in his alliance, but that was really about as big a deal as Fabio peeing in the pool. It all came down to the vote, and after all that fuss and Marty still practically serving himself up on a platter to his tribe mates, it was Jill who went home. Surprised? I am and I’m not. That was the plan all along, since, as Probst said, a lot of the players are going on loyalty. But come on, guys. That’s two weeks in a row you could’ve gotten rid of an obviously calculating threat. And now the two tribes are merging (already?), so who knows what will happen when the dominating youths are together again.

-- Anthony Williams


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