‘Dancing With the Stars’ results recap: The first cut is the deepest

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Alas, with all the fun that came with two weeks of glittery ballroom dancing comes the inevitable news that one of our Season 12 stars was going to be sent packing out of the fringe-filled “DWTS” world and back into a decidedly less-sparkly existence. And this week, the dubious honor of being the first person out of the competition and the latest inductee into the Losers’ Club, with the lowest combined total of judges’ points and viewer votes, went to…

Mike Catherwood. And yes, the poor guy had the odds stacked against him. The KROQ DJ and “Loveline” cohost was definitely hampered by a smallish fan base and the unfortunate handicap of being born with two left feet. But he took this elimination like the good-humored guy that he is, heaping nothing but praise on his pro partner/sex kitten Lacey Schwimmer and likening the “elite” Losers’ Club (which includes Kenny Mayne, the Hoff and Jeffrey Ross) to the “Mount Rushmore of terrible dancers.”


Good thing Dr. Drew made it out to see his co-host’s performance last night, or he would have missed him altogether. Maybe they can talk about the elimination on the next episode of “Loveline.” But really, you could almost say that Psycho Mike was psychic about his leaving the competition: In the post-performance footage, he said that even if the jive was his last dance, he “made Len smile … and that’s saying something, right?” Also saying something: those gyrations during his final dance, which revealed that Mike was clearly not showcasing his full range of talents. Turned out the DJ had an arsenal of special dance weapons heretofore concealed before this big finale, from a Chippendales’ pelvic thrust to an arms in the air move that resembled feather-dusting a bookcase. “He’s been saving all the moves for his farewell dance!” Tom declared. Sad that our time with Mike’s humor and Dan Cortesean good looks was cut short.

In other news, the “DWTS” troupe was introduced: Oksana Dmyrenko, Irish Tristan MacMahon, Peta “heavens to” Murgatroyd, Christopher “Kiki” Nyemchek, Nicole Volynets and Ted Volynets. The Pros Lite or Baby Pros were first introduced by a bevy of Our Pros in an opening number choreographed by Maksim Chmerkovskiy, and then shimmied in fringe and had their way with the dance floor to a routine choreographed by “So You Think You Can Dance” regular Jason Gilkison. The Alterna-Pros are good and all, but Our Pros remain nearer and dearer to my beating ballroom heart.

There was a segment about the chemistry between the stars and their pro partners. Wendy Williams felt comfortable enough to burp up loud and proud and not hold back in front of Tony “Sparkletooth” Dovolani (“Wendy has raised the burping bar for us all,” said Tom). Hines winningly calls his partner “Coach Kym.” Kirstie said her chemical strategy with Maks was like any other costar: “You’re madly in love with him for the extended period of the shoot, and then you kick him to the curb.” Chris Jericho fully admitted that pro Cheryl Burke wears the ‘flared Latin pants in the relationship.’

R&B star and media mainstay Chris Brown dyed his hair from Sisqo blonde back to black and performed two numbers (sans interview). The first was “Yeah x3” from his recently released album “F.A.M.E.” that seemed to pay homage to Monday night’s performances, with mimes a la Mark Ballas’ Panic! Number, martial arts moves a la the Karate Kid and the Flashdance-y atmosphere of a prom at the end. The second number was a redux of his hit “Forever,” featuring a futuristic light show and iridescent dancers. (Totally should have seen this futuristic theme coming when he did the robot right before commercial break.)

What do you think, ballroom fans? Did the right star dancer go home this week? Surprised to see Sugar Ray sweating under those “in jeopardy” lights? What do you think of the “DWTS” troupe? Did you enjoy Chris Brown’s performances? Are you regretting not voting for Psycho Mike after witnessing all his “special” moves at the end?

—Allyssa Lee


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Photo credits: Adam Taylor / ABC