‘The Bachelorette’ recap: Ames gets a concussion, but no one can knock any sense into Ashley

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Another episode of ‘The Bachelorette’; another week of nearly clawing my eyes out due to frustration.

OK, Ashley. We’re in Week 5 now. That means I’ve long ago grown tired of you still being hung up on Bentley. I can no longer listen to you lament about how those wondrous 60 minutes you spent together are still on your mind. Or whine about how that lame ‘dot dot dot’ shtick has stuck with you as you’ve traveled halfway around the world. And yet, after going on some fun dates in a beautiful part of the world -- and even watching some poor guy suffer a concussion while literally fighting for you -- still, all you could talk about was Bentley.

Of course, we suckers were faked out by the teaser commercials this week, which showed Ashley sauntering up to a hotel room where Bentley was meant to be for their dramatic encounter. As it turns out, that nonsense goes down next week. AFTER ASHLEY PERSONALLY REQUESTS FOR BENTLEY TO FLY TO HONG KONG SO SHE CAN HAVE ‘CLOSURE’ WITH HIM.

But hey, good on Chris Harrison, at least, for trying to impart to Ashely how absolutely ludicrous that idea is.

‘You think this would really help you to move on?’ he asked her skeptically.

Yes, she insisted, promising that if she could just hear Bentley say he left because he ‘didn’t feel strongly enough’ for her, then she would be ‘so respectful’ of that. While that sentiment made my blood boil, I guess it is difficult to remember that Ashley isn’t privy to seeing all of the crap Bentley talked behind her back. She must truly believe that this loser only left because he missed his kid. (Although even that logic is hard for me to comprehend, because if he was really that into Ashley, he would have stuck it out for like a month of production -- and she should realize that.) In any event, I can really only hope that she is watching these episodes and hanging her head in utter shame for being so naive.

Even though Bentley didn’t show up in Asia this week, his reach still extended far into Ashley’s psyche. His leaving early has made this girl so horribly insecure that as a result, she’s making really poor choices about the remaining guys. Case in point? Kicking Ben C. off. I mean, whoa, did not see that one coming.

When it was announced that Ben and William were the two unlucky guys being sent on the dreaded two-on-one date, I immediately thought Ben had this thing in the bag. After William’s awkward gaffe at the roast a few weeks back when he joked about wishing he was competing for Emily or Chantal’s affections, I was sure he’d never be able to recover. (As it turned out, he wasn’t -- the wannabe comedian thankfully got sent home later in the episode.)

But only a few minutes into their date -- after both of the guys were forced to row Ashley down a remote river on a raft like two slaves -- William pulled Ashley aside to tell her that he questioned Ben’s intentions.

‘From what I heard around the house, he’s more looking forward to the dating websites when he gets home,’ William informed Ashley. ‘He’s saying ‘I’m gonna clean up after I get out of here. I can’t wait to get back to town.’'

Ashley immediately freaked out and impulsively decided to send Ben home without even really getting his side of the story. Oh, wow -- the guy actually dares to speak about the possibility that he might not go home with the final rose? And alluded to how being on a reality show could affect his life? And why is it that when someone Ashley was actually friends with -- Michelle Money -- informed her early on about Bentley’s evil intentions, she ignored that warning?

Ugh. Sure, I get that Ashley has been burned, and she’s not taking any chances with guys who might even just quite possibly be on the show for the wrong reasons. And yes, that probably wasn’t the smartest thing of Ben to say. But I think Ashley overreacted in this situation, and of the remaining dudes, Ben was certainly one of her best options.

Hey, I hope the guy does get on a dating site, because I’m sure there are plenty of girls out there who think he’s prime boyfriend material. Ahem.

Now that the pack is starting to get whittled down -- and that Ben C. is a goner -- I’m really starting to feel good about Ben F. and J.P.'s chances. I thought Ben F. and Ashley’s one-on-one date went pretty well this week, although he was so not forward with her that sometimes I couldn’t tell if their lack of affection was due to awkwardness or intense sexual tension.

And weirdly, I feel like Ashley might end up having more intense feelings for Ames -- Ames, poor, poor Ames. Rough week for the Ivy League grad, who was nearly knocked out after taking one punch to the head in the Muay Thai match. (Again, producers, horrible date choice. First a roast that makes Ashley cry, now an all-out boxing match where both punching and kicking are allowed?) Ashley seemed to feel bad for the guy, but then when he finally returned from the hospital and even made it to the group date, she still gave the rose to Blake -- the lame dentist -- instead of giving him it to Ames out of sympathy. Weak.

I’d love to believe that after next week, Ashley will finally be able to focus on the other guys after she gets her little ‘closure’ session with Bentley. Who, of course, immediately jumped at an offer to fly out to Hong Kong to see a girl he’s admitted to openly being repulsed by. Class act.

-- Amy Kaufman


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‘The Bachelorette’ recap: A bad joke and a bad boy break Ashley’s heart

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