Lions-Packers: Will winged pigs take flight over Lambeau Field?

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When you understand that the Green Bay Packers have been my team since I was a little kid, that part of the reason I am a vegetarian may be that cheesehead thing from an early age, you’ll understand how hard this is for me to say:

I kind of sort of rather somewhat hope the Detroit Lions beat the Packers on Sunday.

I am not one of these fickle flibbertigibbets who cooled on the Packers the moment that Brett Favre chose to put on a Jets uniform. My loyalty is far more than cute-guy deep; I ask you, is Ray Nitschke’s a face that launched a thousand crushes? Well, then.

But something larger is tugging at me about Sunday’s game. Detroit is a great American city and it’s had a terrible run.

A church burned down on Christmas Eve. The auto industry has smoldered for years. Hudson’s, its flagship department store -- later Dayton Hudson -- folded its stylish and singularly local tents. (Its warehouse made room for the Lions’ stadium -- not a good omen.)

Its daily newspapers are cutting home delivery to three days a week and printing smaller editions. The housing market makes the rest of the nation’s real estate look in the pink.

And the Lions, the poor toothless Lions, one of the oldest teams in the League, one that has never, ever gone to the Super Bowl, already has set one record by going 0-15, and stands to set another on Sunday, with a complete-season, 16-game wipeout.

I’m not saying the Packers should throw a pity party for the Lions and throw the game. I’m just saying that it wouldn’t completely shatter the heart of this longtime fan of a phenomenal team if Sunday’s happened to be one game that the Pack lost. So, much as it pains me to say this, I’m doing this for a larger cause. I’m doing it for America. Go, Lions. Just this once.

-- Patt Morrison