New ‘ordinance’ to address Lakers flags

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The Lakers are back in the NBA Finals, which means Lakers flags are about to show up. Everywhere.

The city council of Adamtopia has unanimously passed an ordinance restricting the placement of these flags on personal vehicles and watercraft. In order to put one on your car (or boat, Mr. Samberg), you must meet at least 50% of these requirements:

• You can explain the triangle offense to a layperson.
• You can pick a clean-cut Kurt Rambis out of a lineup.
• You can spell ‘Vujacic’ while blindfolded. (Give yourself an extra point if you watched him shooting free throws while he was blindfolded on this week’s Sports Science).
• You have been to a game at the Forum and Staples Center.
• You do not drive a Miata. Apologies to Corky Romano.
• You also have a Lakers flag on your house.
• You are related to an actual Laker.
• Your flag is more than 3 years old (pictured).
• You have a Lakers tattoo.
• You have tickets to any NBA Finals game.

There is a strict prohibition against Lakers flags on mopeds, no matter how creatively they are attached. Adherence to these laws will make Adamtopia -- or any city, for that matter -- a better place. We’re looking at you, Los Angeles.

Disobedience will subject violators to ridicule as a bandwagon fan.

-- Adam Rose