Sailor Is No Match for the Atlantic

Maybe Ted Macnamara just wasn’t destined to cross the Atlantic. The intrepid British sailor made his fourth try this week and wound up in retreat.

Macnamara, a 65-year-old unemployed stone cleaner, set out from Campbeltown, Scotland, in a five-foot craft named Marmaduke Jinks IV.

His outboard engine failed almost immediately, and he hoisted sail. But his boat then started drifting backward, and he went to sleep.

On waking, he had no idea where he was and, having no distress flares, he began flashing a hand torch. This was spotted, and he was rescued by the Campbeltown coast guard. He had traveled four miles--the wrong way.

This was Macnamara’s first attempt since last year when he set out from Land’s End, England, in a barrel. When he boarded the barrel, it capsized.

How could Rollie Massimino turn down that offer of $375,000 a year by the New Jersey Nets?

Easy, the way the New York Times has it figured.

Says the Times of his deal at Villanova: “With his salary, which is up to $110,000; a major shoe endorsement contract; a successful basketball camp, as well as numerous speaking engagements for which he is paid $5,000, he is likely to earn between $300,000 and $400,000 annually until he retires.”

Add Massimino: At a roast of the coach Wednesday night, former Philadelphia 76er coach Billy Cunningham said: “I hope you like it on Lovetron.”

Cunningham was referring to the mythical planet created by Nets center Darryl Dawkins, a former 76er.

From political satirist Mark Russell: “Under President Reagan’s tax proposal, tickets to NFL games can no longer be deducted as a business expense. However, tickets to USFL games can be deducted as a charitable contribution.”

Mickey Mantle recently visited former teammate Clete Boyer at Oakland, where he is a coach, and Boyer said that Dave Kingman, Mike Heath and Dave Collins tripped over themselves wanting to be introduced to Mantle.

“You should have seen Heath,” Boyer told the Pittsburgh Press. “He was so awed over meeting Mickey that he just stood there with his mouth open. He didn’t know what to do, so he took his hat off.

“Kingman wanted Mickey to autograph two baseballs for him. Collins was the best of all, though. I told him Mantle could outrun Rickey Henderson. He could get down to first base in three seconds flat dragging a bunt hitting left-handed. Collins couldn’t believe it.”

Would-you-believe-it dept.: Angelo Spagnola and Kelly Ireland, the top two finishers in the Worst Avid Golfer tournament, have yet to make a birdie in all they years they’ve played the game.

Joel Mosser, who finished third, once made a birdie, although he admitted it was an accident. It came on the 158-yard eighth hole at Heather Ridge in Denver.

“I chipped in from a sand trap,” he said. “Like they say about a monkey at a typewriter, if you do it enough, you’ll spell a word.”

Quotebook

Todd Phipers of the Denver Post, on the drafting of Bulgaria’s Georgi Glouckov by the Phoenix Suns after the Atlanta Hawks had chosen Arvidas Sabonis of the Soviet Union on an earlier round: “With Sabonis gone, the Suns felt Glouckov was the best Communist available.”