Everybody’s Fair Game When It’s Time for Q and A

So many questions and so few answers:

Why did the Chargers suddenly release so many veteran players? It startles you that Cliff Thrift, Reuben Henderson, Ken Greene, Bob Gregor, Chuck Loewen, Andre Young, Ron Egloff, Ray Preston and Jewerl Thomas should be released in a little more than 24 hours? Think about it. The Chargers are obviously clearing space in the roster, just in case they have a chance to acquire the Los Angeles Express from the USFL.

Why would the Padres ask that the sale of beer be discontinued after the seventh inning? That’s when their pitchers stop working.

Is there a better way to discourage excessive beer drinking than simply terminating sales after a certain inning?

Certainly. Charge $1 a beer in the first inning, $2 in the second, $3 in the third and so on. By the sixth inning, the only people in the stadium who will be able to afford a beer will be the players.

Is it true that San Diego is not interested in team tennis?

I did notice that the TeamTennis Buds drew 788 for their season opener and 376 the next night and I read where the general manager expressed disappointment. He said he thought there were more tennis fans in San Diego. He’s right. There are. That’s why they’re not there. You cannot draw without drawing cards and the Buds’ top “draw” ranks about where Joey Sindelar ranked on the 1984 PGA Tour. Who would go to a golf tournament if Pal Joey was the top attraction?

Is it true that Donald T. Sterling is once again involved with a leaky roof and unrentable conditions?

That is what I read in the Los Angeles Herald-Examiner. Sterling, who sued the San Diego Sports Arena over just such stipulations, is on the other end of exactly the same complaints. Columnist Diane K. Shah wrote that Sterling, the landlord of a building he leases from the Louis B. Mayer Foundation, was sued by the foundation because of the condition of the building.

Speaking of buildings, is that a new gymnasium next to the fountain in Horton Plaza?

No, it only looks like it. I understand it is, in fact, a department store. I suspect, however, that there is a sports connection with the new Horton Plaza Center. It looks like the color scheme was put together by the guys who designed the old Padre uniforms.

Is it true that the Chargers are opening their locker room to the media? That’s what I hear. I understand that the players are now contemplating getting dressed in (a) the press box, (b) their homes or (c) the Longhorn Saloon.

What IS a Bud? It’s a prop in a beer commercial. A guy saunters up to a bar and says, “Gimme a Bud.” The bartender hands him a chrysanthemum.

OK, then what does a Bud have to do with tennis? A Bud is a tennis player who hasn’t bloomed yet.

Are the Sockers playing outdoors this year?

Does it make any difference? If they are, no one seems to be paying any attention. If they aren’t, it’s because no one paid any attention.

If the Chargers do not make the playoffs this year, what will happen?

Alex Spanos’ good friend Bob Hope will replace Don Coryell. The team might not be any better, but the coach’s television show will be much livelier with Brooke Shields and Morgan Fairchild as guests.

Would there be other changes?

I would suspect Spanos Industries will be relocating on Level 1-A at the stadium.

Is it true that the Chargers seem more committed to signing their draft choices?

I think it’s obvious. I thought it was a very good sign when they signed their No. 6 pick Friday afternoon. Of course, he was drafted in 1983.

How do the Padre players feel about going on strike?

When a team is not hitting, not pitching and not fielding, it may as well be not playing. Could it be that the Padres went on strike two weeks ago and just didn’t tell anybody?

Why weren’t the Padres on television Friday night?

After hearing that the Padres committed five errors and the Cardinals stole eight bases Thursday night, Channel 39 must have decided that it would be more discreet to keep Friday night’s game off the screen during hours when children might be watching.

Wouldn’t it be exciting to see the Padres and Dodgers battling down the stretch for the pennant?

I hate to be a bearer of disappointing news, but these teams will be virtual strangers down the stretch. The season is barely half completed, but they meet only four more times--Sept. 16 and 17 here and Sept 30 and Oct. 1 in Los Angeles. And both series are Monday-Tuesday affairs. It would be like a match race between Secretariat and John Henry. On different tracks.

What is going on at Fiesta Island this weekend?

It’s time for the annual World Championship Over-The-Line Tournament. I have only one warning. Don’t look back when you’re leaving or you will turn into a pillar of salt.