The Reason Is Simple: It All Adds Up

For the third straight year, running back Jesse Myles of the Denver Broncos reported to camp overweight, and assistant coach Nick Nicolau had had enough.

“I’m tired of it,” Nicolau told Michael Knisley of the Denver Post. “He’s an undisciplined guy. I can’t honestly say we’ve decided what we’re going to do about it, but fat guys don’t play for the Denver Broncos. It’s as simple as that. They either become skinny or they do something else.”

Myles, who went to LSU and who has frequented the finest eateries in New Orleans, easily explains his problem.

“I eat regularly,” he said. “Every chance I get, I go to the ice box. I constantly eat. I’ll eat something, and then later on, I go back and eat something else.”

That’ll do it.

Trivia Time: In 1942, he was voted the Most Valuable Player in the American League, although he led the league in errors at his position and batted .095 in the World Series. His name? (Answer below.)

If you’re wondering if any 39-year-old player ever stole as many bases as Davey Lopes of the Chicago Cubs, forget it. It’s not close.

Lopes has 36 and is aiming for 50 or more. The closest is Honus Wagner with 22, followed by Joe Morgan with 18. Lou Brock had 17, and Eddie Collins and Luis Aparicio had 13. That’s for a full season.

Willie Mays had only 5, but at 40, he had 23. Wagner also had 23 when he was 40, and 22 at 41.

For What It’s Worth: Rufino Linares of the Angels hails from San Pedro de Macoris, the city in the Dominican Republic that has also produced Pedro Guerrero and Mariano Duncan of the Dodgers, plus a number of other big leaguers, among them Joaquin Andujar, George Bell, Juan Samuel, Julio Franco and Rafael Ramirez.

Would-you-believe-it dept.: Catcher Lance Parrish of the Detroit Tigers once was a bodyguard for Tina Turner.

According to Michael Wilbon of the Washington Post, Edward Bennett Williams, owner of the struggling Baltimore Orioles, called Manager Earl Weaver before Wednesday’s game with Minnesota and said: “We’ve got to change something.”

So?

“So Weaver went out and had his hair permed,” said Wilbon.

Baltimore won, 4-2.

Some people still say that Tom Osborne should have gone for a one-point conversion in the 1984 Orange Bowl, giving unbeaten Nebraska a 31-31 tie with Miami.

Instead, the Cornhuskers went for a two-pointer and missed, giving Miami a 31-30 win and the national championship.

Bernie Kosar, Miami’s quarterback in the game, said it’s all academic. He told The Sporting News that Miami still would have won. In fact, he said Miami would have won even if Nebraska had made the two-pointer for a 32-31 lead.

“There was plenty of time for us to get into position for a field goal,” he said. “We would have done it, too, the way we were moving the ball. Forty-eight seconds was more than enough time. It would have been fun.”

Trivia Answer: Second baseman Joe Gordon of the New York Yankees. That year, he also led the league in strikeouts and hitting into double plays.

Quotebook

Len Dykstra, 5-10 rookie outfielder for the New York Mets, on his first encounter with the Bleacher Bums at Wrigley Field: “They told me to stand up, and to get out of the hole I was standing in. Then they asked if I’d gotten separated from my high school field trip. Finally, they just told me I stink. Tough crowd.”