CHARTING THE LONGEST PLAYERS IN POP RANKS

Some things are obvious, right?

I mean, every rock fan knows Bruce Springsteen’s “Born to Run,” David Bowie’s “Ziggy Stardust” and the Who’s “Tommy” were classic albums that went straight to No. 1.

Wanna bet?

None of those albums reached the top of the Billboard magazine weekly sales charts. The Bowie album never even cracked the Top 50 when it was released in 1972 and the others stalled at Nos. 3 and 4, respectively.

Those are just some of the sidelights in Joel Whitburn’s new fun-and-fact-filled book, “Top Pop Albums, 1955-1985” (available by mail order only for $50 through Record Research, Box 200, Menomonee Falls, Wis., 53051).

Whitburn is the researcher who for years has been publishing books that tell you everything you want to know (and then some) about the history of the Billboard “singles” charts.

In the new volume, he focuses on albums, listing all 14,000 LPs that have made the Billboard Top 200 during the last three decades. He tells the date the album entered the chart, its highest position and the number of weeks it remained in the Top 200.

Besides being a research tool, the book provides a wealth of fascinating items for pop trivia fans.

Want to know which was the only Beatles album on Capitol or Apple after “Beatles ‘65” (excluding reissues and sound tracks) not to reach No. 1?

The answer: “Hey Jude,” which stalled at No. 2 after failing to knock Simon & Garfunkel’s “Bridge Over Troubled Water” out of the top spot in the spring of 1970.

Conversely, what were the only two Who albums ever to climb higher than No. 4 on the charts?

The answer: “Quadrophenia” and “Who Are You,” which reached No. 2 in 1973 and 1978, respectively.

But one answer is pretty simple.

Who is the King of albums during the rock era?

The answer: Elvis Presley, who tallied 20,050 points in a scoring system that awards points for every week the artist has an album on the charts and bonus points for achieving high chart positions.

You may be surprised, however, by who finishes second among album artists.

No, it’s not the Beatles.

It’s Frank Sinatra, who tallied 17,025 points.

The Beatles finished fourth, behind Johnny Mathis. The group’s point total: 11,554.

It should be pointed out, however, that the Beatles achieved that total with just 35 LPs, while Presley, Sinatra and Mathis reached the Top 200 with 90, 62 and 60 LPs respectively.

If you consider only No. 1 albums, the Beatles were the easy winner, registering 15 as opposed to nine each for Presley and the Rolling Stones.

The most weeks at No. 1?

Again, the Beatles in a landslide: 119 weeks to runner-up Elvis’ 64.

The book also reminds us that a lot of albums that are now considered classics didn’t do as well as their artistic success and influence would make us believe.

Among the chart underachievers: Joni Mitchell’s “Blue” stalled at No. 15 in 1971, Otis Redding’s “Dictionary of Soul” only made it to No. 73 in 1966, the Sex Pistols’ debut didn’t crack the Top 100 in 1977, U2’s “Boy” stopped at No. 63 in 1981 and Lou Reed’s “Berlin” dropped after reaching No. 98 in 1973. The nomination for the most startling chart underachiever: Van Morrison’s “Astral Weeks.” The landmark 1968 LP didn’t made the charts at all.

“BORN IN EAST L.A.”--Cheech and Chong, the comic duo that has been concentrating its humor on films in recent years, may have its biggest single since the “Basketball Jones” days a decade ago. This pick hit on MCA Records is a take-off on Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the U.S.A.” The tune, “Born in East L.A.,” is the story of a Mexican-American (Cheech Marin) who is suspected by a patrolman of being an illegal immigrant. But Cheech insists, “I was . . . born in East L.A. “

The officer, however, challenges him to name the President of the United States. Cheech answers, “The guy that used to be on ‘Death Valley Days’ . . . John Wayne.” Wrong, the zealous patrolman proclaims--and ships our hero to a “foreign land,” in this case Mexico. Cheech eventually makes it back to town, singing triumphantly “Born in East L.A.” In the accompanying video (already on MTV), Jan-Michael Vincent plays the patrolman and Elvira is among those making cameo appearances.

LIVE ACTION: The Grateful Dead will be at Southwestern College’s Devore Stadium in San Diego for a 2 p.m. concert Sept. 15. . . . John Anderson, who’ll be at the Crazy Horse in Santa Ana on Monday, will also join Hank Williams Jr. at the Irvine Meadows Amphitheatre on Aug. 30. . . . Nona Hendryx will be at the Palace on Aug. 27, while the Fleshtones headline there on Aug. 29. . . . Bill Monroe returns to McCabe’s on Aug. 25. . . . Nancy Wilson’s Sept. 6 appearance at the Beverly Theatre has been postponed. . . . the Textones will be at the Palomino on Sept. 6, while Tanya Tucker is due there on Sept. 13.