‘MUTINY!’ RIDES ROUGH SEAS IN LONDON

How about a musical based on “Mutiny on the Bounty?” At first glance, it sounds like an unwieldy project. At second glance, it sounds impossible. But it has actually been attempted, in London.

“Mutiny!” is the title, with an exclamation point, and the London critics even attacked that. Michael Coveny in the Financial Times, for instance: “Musicals have to be really good to justify an exclamation mark. ‘Oklahoma!’ passed the test. ‘Marilyn!’ did not. Nor, I’m afraid, will ‘Mutiny!’--a waddling witless fiasco from which you will emerge, as every critic will say, humming the scenery. . . .”

He was right about that. Sheridan Morley of Punch thought set designer William Dudley’s replica of the Bounty so stunning “that were I the musical’s management, I think I’d be inclined to charge quite highly for tours of it on non-matinee days. When the show closes, they can probably flog it off to Disneyland.”

But the show itself struck Morley as “an anticlimax,” even with Frank Finlay playing Capt. Bligh. “A good deal of David Essex’s songs sound alike (Essex also plays Fletcher Christian) and his choral numbers are at best Lionel Bart circa 1955.”

Many of the critics stooped to unsporting nautical metaphors. John Barber of the Daily Telegraph called the show “a far less seaworthy vessel than at first it promises to be,” with a script that is “full of holes.” Kenneth Hurren of the Mail on Sunday noted that the show “ran down the slipway, sailed into the Piccadilly Theatre--and, in a manner of speaking, sank.”

Only the Observer’s Michael Ratcliffe found it in his heart to spare “Mutiny!” He found it “a thoughtful and old-fashioned musical comedy with a message.”

No bounty in these notices, but with a million pounds in advance ticket sales, “Mutiny!” may limp on for a few months.

The Broadway season has started with a bump. Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Song and Dance”--with Bernadette Peters providing the song, choreographer Peter Martins the dance--got a withering review from the New York Times’ Frank Rich, who found it only slightly less dreary than the 1982 London version.

Rich said that Peters “has no peer in the musical theater right now,” but couldn’t work miracles. “Empty material remains empty no matter how talented those who perform it,” he wrote. Variety wasn’t much impressed by “Song and Dance” either: “A synthetic and unnecessary show.” Here, too, a strong advance sale may help cushion the reviews.

Los Angeles’ leading jugglers/necromancers, the Mums, are back from Toronto with some good notices for their scrapbook.

The Sun’s Bob Pennington was reminded of the pop phrase: Everything old is new again. “I had savored all the basics of their hourlong act many times before, in the days when variety flourished in music halls and burlesque palaces. Never, however, had I seen them quite so brilliantly packaged.”

The Star’s Robin Harvey found the Mums very new wave. “A particularly engrossing trick involves a member of the troupe who chews and eats razor blades, then appears to swallow a long red string. The coup de grace of this gruesome feat occurs when the string emerges threaded with razor blades. . . .”

The Globe and Mail’s Philip Plews liked them as people: “Even when a few of the tricks went askew, the audience applauded all the more loudly. . . . It was like rooting for these guys like friends or brothers.”

QUOTE OF THE WEEK. Playwright Michael Weller in “Performing Arts Journal”: “My attitude was and always will be, if I’ve got a pen and paper, they’ve got no power over me.”