Jurist Presides With Wit, Humor : Despite Own Trials, Judge Bach Plays It Lightly for a Somber Chamber

A defense attorney recently asked a North Municipal Court judge to free his client--a suspect in a residential burglary--without bail until his trial. “Ordinarily I would,” said the judge. “But since it was my brother-in-law’s house that got hit, I’m going to set bail at $2,500.”

Judge Dave Bach Jr. left it to the lawyer to explain to the dumbstruck client that he was only joking. Bach was going to set $2,500 bail all along.

After 18 years on the bench, the 57-year-old judge is well respected by most lawyers. He has earned a reputation as the funniest, most informal judge in Orange County. He is entertaining, outlandish, outspoken, witty, quick and irreverent.

Coke Without a Straw

Bach, to the parties in a four-defendant case: “Would the defendants stand to the left of the attorneys so I can tell the good guys from the bad guys?”

To a drug suspect: “Let’s see the charges. Oh, yes, snorting coke without a straw.”

To another defendant: “Are you ready to plead, my son?” And an aside to the court reporter: “I’m playing priest today.”

To a couple who were burglary victims: “You’re welcome to stay and see where these guys go after they leave your house.”

Bach’s courtroom style is not without purpose. The judge is convinced the humor and informality does not detract from justice, but, rather, helps it along.

And there is another side to Dave Bach, one in which humor is an antidote to ease the pain.

Inside the funny man, the kidney of a 4-year-old boy keeps him alive.

Dialysis Kidney Treatment

Four years ago, Bach began to suffer kidney failure. Twice a week he would leave the courthouse in Fullerton at 4:30 p.m., head to a dialysis center in Anaheim and undergo four hours of treatment.

“It wasn’t that bad really,” he said. “It was like being at the beauty parlor. You’d read a little, or chat with whoever was next to you.”

Last year Bach signed up for a kidney donation, and waited for doctors to find an acceptable match.

One afternoon in July last year he was hearing criminal arraignments when he got the call. He was told to be at the UC Irvine Medical Center at 7 that night. The computer showed that a kidney from a 4-year-old Tennessee boy who had just died in a car accident would be a good match for him.

“At first, I felt guilty because the boy’s parents probably wanted the kidney to go to another child instead of some old fart like me,” Bach said. “But the doctors assured me the parents would be pleased.”

There were setbacks. The kidney was unloaded from the plane in Texas by mistake and did not arrive in Orange County until the next day. When the operation finally took place, the transplanted kidney did not function.

Bach became depressed, upset for the boy’s parents that the kidney might be wasted.

But, as Bach describes it, the kidney “kicked in” on the 14th day. Now Bach says he feels better than he has in years.

Humor Stronger Than Ever

Bach was able to shed his very strict diet and could drink alcohol for the first time since his health failed. He treasures things like sausage and bacon, which were taboo before. He swims half a mile a day. And his humor is stronger than ever.

“For the first time I could drink, but I told my wife the kidney was just 4, so I’d wait until it turned 18,” he said.

His return to good health strengthened his resolve to enjoy each day, and to keep his courtroom as informal as possible.

In one recent small claims case, a money dispute between two women, the plaintiff turned to the defendant and said she hoped they would still be friends when it was over.

“Oh, no,” Bach said. “There is one thing I can guarantee, ma’am. You will not be friends by the time we’re finished here.”

Bach tried to convince parties in another case to move to the court of a “pro tem” judge, one appointed temporarily for the day, so he could free his court to resume a preliminary hearing.

“Any idiot can be a judge,” Bach explained to them. “I got here because 19 years ago I knew someone who knew Gov. (Edmund G.(Pat)) Brown. But pro tem judges are usually appointed because they’re pretty smart.”

One day last week Bach was in high form.

Breeding of Criminals

There was a delay while deputy marshals brought in a woman and a man, co-defendants, from separate holding cells. Bach explained to the audience: “We have to keep male inmates and female inmates separate, or else we end up with baby inmates. Actually, they’re cute little devils. They wear little yellow jump suits with Orange County Jail stamped on the back. . . .”

A burglary suspect sitting with other inmates in the glassed-in holding tank in the courtroom did not understand some legal language. The prosecutor had agreed to dismiss the charges against him, but only on condition that he agree the police had probable cause to arrest him.

“You didn’t do it, but if you had been the police, you would have arrested you, right?” Bach explained.

“Oh. Right,” the man answered.

“That’s right. You’re not a burglar,” Bach told him. “You don’t even look like a burglar. Now the guy there next to you--HE looks like a burglar.”

Humor Is a Release

Both inmates laughed, but one woman in the audience was not amused.

“This judge is crazy,” she blurted out.

Bach says there’s a method to it all.

“Most of these people who come in here, it’s their only contact with the system, and I represent the system to them,” he explained. “I want them to feel good about the system. I want them to know it’s really not all that bad.”

There is another reason. Humor, he says, is his release.

Most of the cases Municipal Court judges hear are serious--preliminary hearings for suspected child molesters, cases of rape, murder, or drunk drivers who leave injured victims.

“Judges are only human; all that can get to you,” Bach said. “Those cases you must treat seriously. I see so much tragedy, it helps if I can have a little fun in some of the less serious cases.”

‘I Love His Courtroom’

Does Bach’s humor interfere with his responsibilities as a judge?

Many attorneys are fervent Bach supporters.

Deputy Dist. Atty. Mike Nunn, who has appeared before him hundreds of times, says Bach is “a damned good judge. I love his courtroom; it’s a lot of fun. But he knows when it’s time to be serious. And he knows the law.”

One other prosecutor was less supportive, explaining that Bach’s stream-of-consciousness chatter was disconcerting to him.

Some defense attorneys consider Bach pro-prosecution. He was a prosecutor in two district attorneys’ offices for 10 years before joining the bench.

Three months ago Bach refused to reduce charges against Michael Reding, accused of killing a woman and her three children in a drunk-driving case, from second-degree murder to vehicular manslaughter--despite the fact no one has ever been convicted of murder in an Orange County drunk-driving case.

Has His Supporters

When Reding’s attorney, Heidi Mueller, was asked by several reporters later if she was surprised by the court ruling, she answered tersely: “Not with this judge.”

But Bach has supporters among many defense lawyers, including Deputy Public Defender Paul Stark. Stark recalls a Latino client who was a 40-year-old drug user. The prosecutor wanted a jail sentence, which the Probation Department also recommended. But Bach agreed to send the man to a drug counseling program instead of jail.

“I think Judge Bach showed how human he is,” Stark said. “His own insights into human behavior told him this man was not someone who would burglarize a house or rob a store to buy drugs.”

Bach smiles at comments that he is pro-prosecution. He adds that last week he threw out two drug cases because the police had not used proper procedures.

‘I Follow the Law’

“I do admit it bothers me that because of the Supreme Court a case can go bad because a policeman forgot to say ‘Mother, May I,’ ” Bach said. “But I follow the law when that happens, despite my personal feelings.”

While Bach might have a few professional detractors, there is no question about his popularity in North Court.

When Bach was forced to begin dialysis, he was flooded with people volunteering to donate blood for his numerous transfusions.

Affection for him is evident almost daily in his courtroom.

Last week he spoke at length in Spanish to a client who knew no English.

“Your honor, your Spanish was good, but my client could not understand you because of your accent,” one woman attorney deadpanned.

Bach laughed heartily. He seems to have even more fun when the joke is on him.