Government Is Music to Ears of These Congressional Staffers

By day, they toil in congressional offices. By night, they poke fun at the very institution that gives them work--official Washington.

Hill staffers who call themselves The Capitol Steps use musical satire to lampoon politicians, government waste and congressional silliness. The lyrics to one of their songs, set to the tune of “Who Will Buy?,” jab at Pentagon overcharges:

Who will buy my wonderful hammer?

Help to build our nation’s defense.

It’s on sale for ten thousand dollars.

At Hechinger’s it’s fifteen cents.

The music began in 1981, when Elaina Newport and Bill Strauss, working for then-Sen. Charles Percy (R-Ill.) were planning an office Christmas party. Looking around for entertainment, they figured that if actors can be politicians, politicians can be actors. They put on a show, which was so well-received they were asked to perform at other parties.

“It snowballed. Like so many things on Capitol Hill, it just kept going and going and now it’s out of control,” Newport said.

The Capitol Steps perform a few times a month in public and frequently do banquets and conventions, for groups of all political persuasions. Most of the eight-member cast are Republicans. But they say their humor is strictly bipartisan since they make fun of everyone.

A parody of “Send in the Clowns” depicts Vice President George Bush savoring his reelection and contemplating his future.

Can I run again? It’s so fun to win.

Can I run against Fritz one more time? I’ll pulverize him!

He must have a clone. Please send in his clone!

Since political humor can have a short shelf life, the cast is always trying to update the material. “I remember the day Andropov died. You wake up and think--gee, I’m worried about the fate of the Western world but what I’m really worried about is what rhymes with Gorbachev?” Newport said.

The Capitol Steps have one number that probably won’t be outdated anytime soon. Using “Tomorrow,” they deliver an ode to the federal deficit.

My budget will be elastic.

Never pay with cash when you have plastic.

From today

I’ll borrow. I’ll borrow. I’ll mortgage tomorrow

And pay back another day.

Members doubt that they can parlay their part-time parody into full-time work, but they have released an album and they enjoy the moonlighting. “It’s just your typical office party that got out of control,” Newport said. “We’re the third longest-running party on Capitol Hill.”