THERE’S NO TV NEWS LIKE TV-SHOW NEWS : Nothing New Here, Just Standard Self-Serving TV Procedure During Ratings Sweeps . . . When Ratings Most Determine Advertising Rates

Lots of hot news on the morning news shows.

Take ABC, for example, still last in prime-time ratings and worried that its 12-hour monstrosity “North and South” is not getting enough puffery via the normal crescendo of network promos.

So ABC viewers also have been getting the scoop about “North and South” on “Good Morning America.”

And ABC-owned KABC-TV is graciously helping out by promoting “North and South” within its own programs. That includes interviews on “Three Three 0” and a behind-the-scenes series on the miniseries this week on “Eyewitness News” at 11 p.m.

Mark your calendar. The 11 p.m. “Eyewitness News” has more dynamite coming, too, including an in-depth five-part series on “Dynasty II: The Colbys,” starting Nov. 17, coincidentally two nights before the series premieres on ABC.

Hey, just where is Channel 7 going to put all the awards, huh? Go on, get outta here.

Nepotism is evident elsewhere, too. CBS--nervously looking over its shoulder at fast-charging NBC--is using the “CBS Morning News” to promote its prime-time shows. And NBC--trying to gain on CBS--is doing the same on “Today.”

Nothing new here, just standard self-serving TV procedure during ratings sweeps, the three months (November, February and May) when ratings most determine advertising rates charged by local stations. So the stakes are especially high.

Networks cram their so-called blockbuster programs into these months, hoping to boost the ratings of their affiliate stations. And they believe that the best way to boost ratings is to boost the shows.

Some stations, mostly in the nation’s largest TV markets, carry the process a step further by promoting their own entertainment shows within their news shows a la “Eyewitness News,” trying to disguise their hype as news coverage. Ugh!

The networks do their own bending of news ethics, witness those morning shows. Here’s the test: Would they also air interviews and features promoting sweeps programs on competing networks? Sure they would, when Yassir Arafat plays third base for the New York Yankees.

Early November journalism, morning style?

On the Friday preceding the first episode of ABC’s “North and South,” ABC’s “Good Morning America” ran live interviews with two stars of the miniseries, Patrick Swayze and Lesley-Anne Down.

There was more, though. Showing up on Monday’s “Good Morning, America” was John Jakes, whose novel is the basis for the “North and South” TV version. “He has spun himself quite a tale,” said David Hartman about Jakes, with authority. “You have some really wicked, selfish, rotten people in there,” continued Hartman. The proof was on the screen, a clip from the miniseries featuring wicked, selfish, rotten people. And those were just the producers (just kidding).

Hartman also noted that some critics have charged the miniseries with trivializing the pre-Civil War era by “reducing history to steamy love scenes.”

Not to worry, though. Jakes assured Hartman that if such were the case, he would not have associated himself with “North and South” executive producer David Wolper. Thank goodness for integrity.

It was clear from the Hartman interview that “North and South” was a remarkable story, so much so that the “CBS Morning News” also would have covered it.

But darn! A conflict.

Near the time that Hartman was grilling Jakes, Forrest Sawyer was on the “CBS Morning News” brutally interrogating Tyne Daly and Sharon Gless. They are the stars of CBS’ “Cagney & Lacey,” which coincidentally happened to be airing that night.

Sawyer didn’t fool around with niceties. “I gotta tell ya,” he began aggressively, “this show is stronger than it’s ever been.” With their backs to the wall, Daly and Gless had no choice but to agree that the show was stronger than ever.

This was surely a sizzling news break and NBC’s “Today” undoubtedly would have plugged into it. After all, “Today” knows a thing or two about covering a story.

But shoot! Another conflict.

It just so happened that as Sawyer was verbally roughing up the stars of “Cagney & Lacey,” Bryant Gumbel was on “Today,” showing Lindsay Wagner no mercy.

“Am I gonna cry when I see this clip?” he asked Wagner, preceding a scene from “This Child Is Mine,” her tear-jerking movie that was airing that night, coincidentally on NBC.

You had to sympathize with Gumbel, who presumably did not request this interview and seemed to be struggling to think of questions to ask Wagner. “Do you rate them?” he asked about her performances. “You are a busy lady,” he continued. “You have feature films on all three networks.” Only one of which “Today” viewers will hear about.

The month is still young. Plenty of time for more scoops on the morning news programs. Who showed up on the “CBS Morning News” on Tuesday? Lucille Ball, the star of “Stone Pillow” that same night on CBS.

Today’s scheduled guests on “Good Morning America” include “North and South” stars Kirstie Alley and Georg Stanford Brown. And on Monday, “Good Morning America” began running a weeklong series on Dick Clark and his “American Bandstand” on ABC, which promotes the series and also Clark’s Dec. 1 special on ABC.

The “CBS Morning News” and “Today” failed to cover this ABC shocker, but what do they know about news?