Veee Takes Visiting Team Under His Wing

They are calling it the Soccer Summit, this exhibition match between the Sockers and Dynamo Kiev. It will not get quite the attention that Reagan and Gorbachev received in Geneva, but good will is good will.

“We’re very proud to see you in America at the Soccer Summit,” said Valeri Lobanovski, Kiev’s coach. “We’re pleased to be the first team to come here after the recent summit meeting. We’ve heard a lot about the hospitality of the people in San Diego.”

Unfortunately, San Diego is in the throes of what folks hereabouts consider to be Siberian weather conditions. With the temperature up to zero in Kiev, the visitors were hardly thinking they had received a chilly reception.

However, Juli Veee, that ambassador of good will, was doing his best to make the Soviets’ stay as warm as possible.

This may be a little difficult to imagine, since Veee is prone much more toward controversy than diplomacy. If Reggie Jackson was the straw that stirs the drink, Veee is the match that lights the fuse.

Everything was progressing quite nicely in preparation Tuesday when Veee arrived at the Sports Arena. The Kiev practice was about over and the Sockers were getting ready to take the floor.

Off the floor, Kiev and Socker officials were ironing out matters of protocol. Yes, the Soviet flag hanging in the rafters would be the same size as the giant American flag, even if a smaller U.S. flag had to be substituted. And, yes, the Kiev team leader confirmed that the music playing on the tape deck of the Isuzu wagon was the Soviet National Anthem. These are significant matters at times such as this.

Veee, meanwhile, was greatly concerned that the boys from Kiev would not have a good time. It did not seem to greatly concern him that maybe he should have occupied himself with soccer and left the amenities to others.

After all, Veee’s battles with Socker owner Bob Bell on behalf of The Boys--his teammates--are legendary. It mattered little to him that these boys were from and of a different system.

“I’ve talked to The Boys,” Veee said. “we want to give them something so they can shop.”

The matter did not seem completely resolved as The Boys filed into the Socker locker room to dress for practice. Veee urged each player to cough up maybe $25 to give to the Soviets for a shopping spree.

“Each?” asked Brian Quinn.

“Sure,” Veee said. “Otherwise, they have no money.”

“No problem,” said Quinn. “I imagine a big contract to them is $50 or $100.”

After a bit more dialogue, Veee said: “Maybe we should just give our bonus money to the Russians.”

“Yeah,” said Kevin Crow, “what are we getting?”

“Rubles,” Veee laughed.

“We’re probably getting gift certificates,” said Jean Willrich.

“That’s what Bob Bell gives us,” Veee said, turning to a writer. “We get gift certificates. Bob Bell pays us with barter.”

Truthfully, Veee is a fellow who understands what it is like to come out from behind the Iron Curtain to visit the free world. He was playing for a Hungarian team in 1969 when he defected to the West during a tournament in Italy.

Nodding at the practicing Soviets, he said: “I was in their shoes. There are so many wonderful things here that they’ve never heard of. This is the Land of Enchantment to them. It’s like Alice in Wonderland.”

Indeed, of all the Kiev players, Oleg Blokhin is the only one who has previously made trips to the United States.

“To these younger guys, this is a mind-blowing experience,” Veee said. “I remember when I was going to Italy or Germany and buying an Elvis Presley or Beatle record. My God! People have no idea what is lacking in American products in Russia. All they get from us is grain.”

And so Veee’s welcome wagon rolled along, insisting that money was better than a gift and suggesting that the Soviets really should go to Disneyland on Thursday.

It probably never occurred to him that the Soviet officials might frown up such largesse from a fellow who fled the Iron Curtain, that they might wonder if he has ulterior motives.

I couldn’t help but wonder what the real summit might have been like had Juli Veee been there to serve as an interpreter.

Gorbachev--”We must talk about the deployment of MX missiles.”

Veee--”We hear your Disneyland is a great place to have fun.”

Reagan--”We’ll be pleased to help with the technology you need to build one.”