Ditka Sings Different Tune Now

Mike Ditka, asked about the season-long holdouts of safety Todd Bell and linebacker Al Harris, said he couldn’t understand it.

“This may be the biggest moment in Chicago Bear history and to once be a part of that and let it go by the wayside for a few dollars, I don’t conceive it.” Ditka said.

This is the same Ditka who once said of George Halas: “He throws nickels around like manhole covers.”

It turned out that Halas did him a favor, dealing him from Chicago to Philadelphia, where he spent a couple of years before being traded to Dallas. There, he went to five Super Bowls, two as a player and three as an assistant coach.

When Ditka reported to the Cowboys and was asked about his reputation for meanness, he said: “I’m not mean at all. I just try to protect myself. You’ll see that I never pick on anybody who has a number above 30.”

Add Ditka: Cowboy assistant coach Gene Stallings told the Dallas Cowboys Weekly: “I’m not sure a lot of people realize how smart he is. He’s more technical in his approach to the game than you might realize. He’s got good ideas, and the contributions he made to our staff intellectually were awful important.”

Here’s how Tony Kornheiser of the Washington Post summed up Super Bowl XX: “Raymond Berry came out with the right game plan. Too bad he didn’t have the right team--Miami.”

Trivia Time: Who is the only pitcher in the baseball Hall of Fame with a lifetime losing record? (Answer below.)

Tom Zucco of the St. Petersburg Times, doing a column on Jim McMahon, couldn’t figure out what made him tick, so he put in a call to the quarterback’s mother in Roy, Utah.

Said Roberta McMahon: “If you can’t figure him out, don’t ask me. He’s been a mystery since day one.”

From J.D. Schulz of the Dallas Times Herald: “Julius Erving was showing Charles Barkley his newest trick shot.

“Standing about five feet from the basket, Erving cradled the basketball between his shoulder and forearm. Then he snapped his arm straight. The ball ricocheted off his biceps, kissed the backboard, banked off the glass and went through the hoop.

“You might not see that shot during a Philadelphia 76er game. But it’s a reminder not to get tangled with Dr. J in any serious game of H-O-R-S-E anytime soon.”

Owner Marge Schott of the Cincinnati Reds on the 1986 season: “Pete has promised me a World Series.”

Said Manager Pete Rose when advised of the statement: “I don’t remember when I promised Marge a World Series. Oh, I guess that was when I was trying to get the money to get Bill Gullickson and John Denny.”

Pitcher Dave LaPoint, on his trade from the San Francisco Giants to the Detroit Tigers: “I felt like the hostages when they let them out of Iran.”

Of the apathy in the Bay Area, he said: “In San Francisco, you could walk through Union Station with your uniform on and nobody would notice you. I don’t think I’ll have that trouble in Detroit.”

Trivia Answer: Leroy (Satchel) Paige. After joining the Cleveland Indians in 1948 at the age of 42, he had a lifetime record of 28-31.

Quotebook

NBC announcer Ahmad Rashad, on his marriage to Phylicia Ayers-Allen, who plays Bill Cosby’s wife on TV: “There will be fewer kissing scenes on future Cosby Shows.”