FOR VEGETARIANS

“I am a great eater of beef,” William Shakespeare once said, “and I believe that does harm to my wit.” If you’re not feeling too funny, perhaps you’d like to try a meatless menu for a while. Here are a few places intent on restoring your humor.

ARTFUL BALANCE (525 1/2 N. Fairfax Ave., (213) 852-9091). With its hanging plants and owners that look like Joni Mitchell and George Carlin in hippie-threads, Artful Balance appears to be a throwback to the ‘70s. Unlike its kosher deli neighbors on Fairfax, the 25-seat restaurant offers tofu, vegetarian chili, nut loaf and roast chicken cooked without flour or oil. Chef Calvin Lazarus is quick to accommodate customers’ dietary restrictions, and portions are large (if not cheap). Besides the terrific chili, there’s the excellent nut loaf, a meatless vegetarian stew, vegetable macaroni, mushroom pie, and black bean and potato tacos. Dinner 6-11 p.m., Tuesday-Saturday. Reservations. MasterCard and Visa. Free parking in rear. No liquor. Dinner, $10-$15.

DASAPRAKASH (819 N. La Cienega Blvd., (213) 659-2036). A jewel in Restaurant Row’s crown. South Indian vegetarian cuisine may be the best-developed vegetarian fare in the world: grains and legumes are married with subtle spices like cumin, saffron, cardamon and nutmeg. A recommended combination: Mangalore bonda , spicy wheat flour patties, tangy with yogurt and fragrant with caraway seeds; crisp golden crepes, masala dosai , filled with soft potatoes, thin onions and black mustard seed, and the onion uppuma , a large bowl of non-Western cream of wheat, buttery and vibrantly spiced. A splendid dinner for one is thali (or “tray”)--nine small brass bowls whose nicely varied dishes include steaming basmati rice, puffed pooris and deep-fried pappadum . Service is graceful, the setting coolly attractive. Lunch 11:30 a.m.-3:00 p.m., Monday-Sunday; dinner 6--10 p.m., Monday-Sunday. MasterCard and Visa accepted. Valet parking. Dinner, $20-$40. Closed indefinitely for remodeling.

FUNG WONG (123 N. Robertson Blvd., Beverly Hills, (213) 854-3346). This elegant Chinese restaurant offers careful reproduction of classical Chinese food--entirely without meat. The pastel interior is cool and placid--like the waiters (whose service is unusually good). Some of chef Kan Kwong Lim’s dishes are really creative: a special Peking “duck” that nearly passes for the real thing, or minced “squab” in lettuce. Some of the best plates are simple vegetables--sizzling supreme and sauteed eggplant are two of the best dishes in town. The seafood is unexceptional, but don’t miss those shrimp rolls. Only one dessert is outstanding, but don’t miss the wonderful tapioca pudding with lotus seed. Open 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m., Sunday-Thursday; 11:30 a.m.-11 p.m., Friday-Saturday. All major credit cards. Valet parking. Dinner, $25-$40.

THE MILKY WAY (9180 W. Pico Blvd., (213) 859-0004). With its dark lighting, brick arches and glittery mirrors, the place looks like an old-style Italian pizzeria. Actually, it is a kosher dairy restaurant of the strictest kind--no chicken or meat, just vegetables, fruits and fish; every item has been rabbinically approved. Its homeyness, and the warm familiarity between its staff and operator Leah Adler (Steven Spielberg’s mom), make the Milky Way worth a visit. The food is an eclectic hit parade of American and continental favorites that includes enchiladas, trout amandine , Creole-style fish, stuffed fried won ton, fish and chips; for lunch, there is spinach salad, pita sandwiches, pasta primavera and fish steaks. Lunch 11:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m., Monday-Thursday, 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Friday; dinner 6-8:30 p.m., Sunday-Thursday, 6-8 p.m. Friday. Reservations. No credit cards. Beer and wine. Dinner, $15-$30.

NOWHERE CAFE (8009 Beverly Blvd., Los Angeles, (213) 655-8895). This unpretentious annex offers simple, fairly priced good food. On the menu there’s a bit of California nouvelle , a touch of ethnic and a large dose of health-minded dishes. Tofu is big here, served both hot and cold; the “range-fed” chickens are served roasted or herbed, and there’s a delightful meatless loaf made with millet, pecans and vegetables. Esoteric ethnic appetizers include hummus (Middle Eastern garbanzo dip), sashimi , Greek and sushi salad; also among the entrees are pizza, grilled oysters, stuffed eggplant and a seafood pasta dish made with squid, lotte and mussels. Lunch noon-2:30 p.m., Monday-Friday; dinner 6-10 p.m., Monday-Saturday. Reservations. All major credit cards. Parking in rear. Beer and wine. Dinner, $15-$30.

BD --Compiled by Steven Smith