MARXIST THEORIZING

Last week we made the mistake of soliciting English explanations of the Marxist theory of art. We even offered a free trip to Chernobyl. Though we received a bunch of responses, much mystery remains. We appreciate the help, but we’re kind of sorry we asked.

Following are the salient points of the Marxist theory of art:

1--All artists, regardless of “school” or period, have much more in common with each other (it is very difficult, for instance, to establish the lease agreement on a BMW without a “year-to-date” income statement), than they do with dealers and gallery managers.

2--Artists should rise up and seize the means of producing those little toothpicks with the cellophane on the ends, and those plastic cocktail glasses, thus controlling the ability to stage gallery openings.

3--The process of becoming a dealer or gallery manager (failure to achieve tenure in the art department at the University of Nevada at Las Vegas . . . losing the Boeing advertising account . . . running the trust fund down to dangerous levels) guarantees that people who arrive in those positions will see Art as something to tell their parents they’re finally involved with, rather than something which goes with the furniture in the Palisades.

I hope this is helpful.

ERIC BICKFORD

Glendale