DEAD BODIES

Now, now, boys, the first rule in action-movie body counts is that off-screen killings don’t count (Outtakes, June 1).

So, subtracting the 15 Night Slasher murders that occur before the film begins, that leaves “Cobra” with a good guy count of 10, and an overall score of 52. Still fairly sizable but nowhere near the scores of either “Rambo” or “Commando.”

Of course, even the combined scores of the entire “one-man army” genre can’t even enter the ballpark of the Ultimate Body Count Movie of All Time, the classic “Star Wars.” With its exploding planet and planet-sized space station, its score soars well into the billions.

Hail to the King!

JAY MARKS

Los Angeles