He Brought His Putter but Forgot His Stroke

Albert Pelissier, a 68-year-old Frenchman, shot a 28-over par 97 at the Monte Carlo Open golf tournament. It was the most on the European circuit in recent memory. Said Pelissier: “I never lost a ball today, but my putting let me down.”

Just bad timing? No.

“I lost my putting in Mexico City in 1953.”

Which way to Centre Court? Skip Bayless of the Dallas Times Herald is in London to watch Wimbledon. Wrote Bayless: “Ever look at a map of London? Remember what Indiana Jones saw when he opened the tomb? Thousands and thousands of snakes. Two-lane snakes, with thousands of traffic lights. London’s streets originally were laid out by the Romans, in 54 B.C. The architect must have spilled a plate of spaghetti on his page and said, ‘We may never win Wimbledon, but no one else will find it.’ ”

Add Wimbledon: Martina Navratilova recently won her sixth title at Eastbourne, the Wimbledon warm-up event. The five previous times she’s won at Eastbourne, she’s gone on to win at Wimbledon.

“As soon as I got to the final (at Eastbourne), I knew I had won Wimbledon,” Navratilova said. “But make sure you write that I was joking. I can be superstitious and it can get ridiculous sometimes. This can be a good omen for me. It has worked for me before.”

Upper lips have been stiffening in Great Britain. In the span of a few days, England lost to India in a test cricket match, a World Cup quarterfinal to Argentina, and boxer Barry McGuigan of Northern Ireland lost the World Boxing Assn. world featherweight title to Texan Stevie Cruz. Also, its top female tennis player, Annabel Croft, lost in the first round at Wimbledon, as did its top male, John Lloyd.

Oh yeah, Lloyd also retired.

Should a Subway Series occur, it’ll be because the New York Yankees worked to make it happen. Said Don Mattingly, envious of the cross-town Mets: “Everything goes right, everything goes smooth for them. Other teams have years like that. We never seem to get on the easy road. They pretty much panic here all the time. Every day you lose, you’re supposed to spit up blood and die, then get up the next day and start over.”

Quotebook

Moses Malone of the Washington Bullets, formerly of the Philadelphia 76ers, on 76ers owner Harold Katz: “Dealing with Harold was really a problem, and I’m looking forward to shutting his mouth. I’m glad to be coming to a great organization, not like the one in Philadelphia.”