POP MUSIC REVIEW : BOYS DON’T CRY; CRITIC WEEPS

“Boys Don’t Cry” is a lovely, haunting pop song by English group, the Cure. Boys Don’t Cry is also the name of an English band that doesn’t have a cure for being neither lovely nor haunting. Boys may not cry, but critics are bound to feel like screaming--especially when subjected to an overlong set of the kind of dressed-up bar-band rock cliches this perfunctory quintet performed in a nearly empty Palace on Thursday night. SCREEEECH!

Why was this band--which is best suited to a nondiscriminating London yuppie bar--playing one of the more prestigious music showplaces in Hollywood? Because it just had a Top 20 hit, “I Wanna Be a Cowboy.” Never mind that the title of the song is exactly the same as the opening line in an old song by local punks, the Vandals. Never mind that the Western joke motif has already been explored (with infinite more wit and style) by groups like Wall of Voodoo. Never mind . . . Oh, never mind.

“I Wanna Be a Cowboy” is a fluke: Its dumb novelty appeal had nothing to do with the rest of the Boys Don’t Cry’s set, which drew freely upon everything from Lou Reed to Journey. Meanwhile, songs as profound as “Young Men Drive Sports Cars” were enthusiastically yelped by singer Nick Richards.