ANNOYED THEATERGOERS

Arkatov should have included reviewers who can be a pain in the theater.

For example:

Snorers. You’d think they’d stay awake (after all, the actors have to) or at least go home and nap. One theater service organization complained bitterly about one snoozing critic.

Less than candid. There’s one fellow who identifies himself as being with “The Times.” He fails to mention that it’s the Pismo Beach Times or some other obscure beachside rag. Quite a difference.

Freeloaders. These are the ones who question theater staffers about the menu at the opening night after-theater party--and then decide if they will cover. He’s the guy from “The Times.” See above.

Gushers. These people have never seen a bad play.

Obscurity. Did they like the show? Would they send their maiden Aunt Maude to see it? Would they go if it were not free?

Cobweb time. By the time the review (finally) comes out, the show has closed and nobody can remember doing it.

HOWARD DECKER

North Hollywood