FREE-EATING ‘CRITICS’

The Southern Arizona Restaurant Assn. has warned member establishments to watch out for phony restaurant critics--disreputable types who have been showing up at local eating places and announcing that they’re there to review the joint for some publication or other, hoping to get a free meal or maybe a cash payoff for their trouble. SARA President Kelly Brent adds the information that real critics generally travel in fours, remain incognito, dine at a restaurant more than once, and always pay their own bills.

As I noted in this column some months ago, in reporting the arrest of an accused con man in Inglewood who had also been impersonating a member of this noble profession, I can’t help feeling at least a bit flattered that somebody would pretend to be a restaurant critic in the first place--when they could be out there, after all, pretending to be a jet pilot or a brain surgeon or something fun. But Brent’s advice to SARA members prompts another feeling as well--a nagging one that all restaurant critics, in fact, don’t always work incognito and/or pay their own bills. If they did, the game would be up pretty darned quickly for their imitators. The trouble is, I think, that like most good cons, this one has just enough truth in it to be believable. Some actual working restaurant critics are impersonators of a sort themselves.

And I’m not at all sure, incidentally, that restaurant critics, even the ones with integrity, generally travel in fours. I know of at least two critics for this very newspaper, in fact, who often check out a place--the first time, anyway--all by their lonesomes. Think about that, restaurateurs of Southern California, the next time you give that solo diner short shrift.

ESCOFFIER REDUX: L’Escoffier, the rather pleasantly old-fashioned rooftop French restaurant at the Beverly Hilton--which once prided itself on being the most expensive restaurant in Los Angeles--closed down a few weeks ago for revamping. Reopening is scheduled for late September. (Trader Vic’s, the hotel’s other big-deal restaurant, closed for a similar face lift earlier this year and opened again in July.) How will the new L’Escoffier differ from the old? I asked Jan Koning-Slokker, director of food and beverage for the Hilton. “We’ve built up an image in the community,” he replied, “and we want to be very cautious about the changes we make. I can say that we will retain the traditional L’Escoffier dishes, but in addition we will ask ourselves what chef Escoffier himself, who was very innovative and always ahead of his time, might be doing if he were alive today.” The new menu is currently being developed by the hotel’s executive chef, Swiss-born Daniel Boesiger, with Koning-Slokker and other Hilton higher-ups. “The decor will remain definitely French,” he continued, “but won’t be as intimidating as it once was. It will still be elegant, that is, but not overpowering--and the same is true of the service. We need almost a friendlier kind of service here--not casual, but nothing to make people feel uncomfortable.” And what about the prices? “About the same,” Koning-Slokker says, “with perhaps a maximum increase of 8%.”

CELEBRITY CHEFS: On Saturday, Spago sponsors the Fourth Annual American Wine and Food Festival, to benefit Meals on Wheels at the Pacific Design Center from 6-10 p.m. Tickets are $125. For information, call (213) 652-3706. Chefs are flying in from all over the country for the event. Some of them will also be doing cooking demonstrations at the Epicurean Cooking School. Jeremiah Tower is up first on Friday from 3-5 p.m., followed by Jonathan Waxman who takes over the stove from 7-10 p.m.. Next Sunday, Bradley Ogden will teach a class from 1-4 p.m. For more information about the cooking classes, call (213) 659-5990.

RESTAURANT STEW: The proprietors of the hyper-popular City Restaurant on La Brea have gone into escrow on a new property, across the street, in which they plan to install their hyper-popular (though very tiny) Border Grill, currently found on Melrose. The Grill’s new quarters will reportedly seat 80 or 90 diners--roughly three times the current maximum. As for the Melrose site, the City-ites will install yet another restaurant there, its nature not yet decided. . . . The legendary Brother Timothy of Christian Brothers will bring a passel of his wines to Magdalena’s in Bellflower for a special dinner to benefit his order’s Third World Relief Fund, Tuesday, Sept. 16, at 6:30 p.m. Tariff is $75, tax and tip included. . . . The Ritz-Carlton in Laguna Niguel has announced that it will hold “Southern California’s first major wine festival” Dec. 5-7. Promised are a “tasting spectacular,” seminars with wine critics and wine makers, a bottled water tasting, tours of south coast wineries, and a black-tie dinner. For information, call (714) 240-2000.