Robinson Touts His Rams, but He’s Got Faulty Merchandise
If I were stranded in an elevator with 20 sweaty people in the middle of August and were told that all repairmen were on break and wouldn’t be back for at least an hour, I would react predictably by clawing the walls with my fingernails and screaming at the top of my lungs.
If Rams Coach John Robinson were in the same mess, he’d turn to someone and say: “OK, who brought the cards?”
If you were shipwrecked on a deserted island with Robinson, he’d be talking about how great the weather was. If you pulled the cord on your parachute and nothing happened, Robinson could persuade you to consider the view.
Beginning his fourth season as head coach of the Rams, Robinson is at it again--believing when there is no hope, convincing when there is no chance.
He is an optimist in a world of realists. He is the National Football League’s resident carnival barker, who could be handed castor oil and water in a fancy bottle and sell it on a street corner in five minutes.
Three years ago, someone handed him the Rams, and he hustled them all the way to the National Football Conference title game.
Which brings us to today and St. Louis and another season, another reason for Robinson to jump to a podium and play Prof. Harold Hill.
Only this time he’s got more trouble than he can sell. He has been handed damaged goods, a vacuum cleaner that can’t suck up the dirt he just dumped on the carpet.
It’s easy to get caught up in Robinson’s pitch about the Rams being better this year. He makes it sound so good.
After all, star running back Eric Dickerson, a 46-day holdout last season, went through a whole training camp this year and is dying to steal his rushing title back from Marcus what’s-his-face.
Quarterback Steve Bartkowski, a quarterback the Atlanta Falcons couldn’t use, is going to revive a Ram passing attack that left opposing defenses in stitches last season.
The bitter loss to the Chicago Bears in last year’s title game left a scar in the gut of every Ram who woke up at night during the off-season screaming “The Super Bowl Shuffle.”
A little revenge motive never hurts.
If everything goes as planned, the Rams will take care of the Cardinals today and look good doing it.
But anyone who thinks this is a better team probably is convinced that Bo Derek could read Shakespeare.
You can root all you want for the Rams, but first consider the facts.
You don’t become a better team by losing three of your top players.
Yet, entering the season the Rams are without:
Inside linebacker Jim Collins. He is only the backbone of the defense, the Rams’ leading tackler the past two seasons. Collins, an emerging star, paid the price for finally being recognized. After making the Pro Bowl for the first time last season, he injured his left shoulder in the game tackling Marcus Allen.
The pain didn’t go away in the off-season, and now Collins, who suffered nerve damage in the shoulder, is lost until at least October.
Cornerback Gary Green. The Rams lost a great player at one of the game’s most demanding positions. Green, a four-time Pro Bowler, was forced into retirement because of a bulging disc in his neck that might have caused paralysis had he risked taking another hit on it.
Green is being replaced by Jerry Gray, who never played cornerback until last season.
Receiver Henry Ellard. The Rams must accept responsibility for this loss, refusing to pay the star receiver what he deserves. Ellard, the Rams’ leading pass catcher and the No. 1 punt returner in NFL history, is mired in a contract holdout that could end up lasting the season.
Rams management, led by Mr. Bottom Line himself, John Shaw, has put the squeeze on Ellard, offering a contract ($1.2 million for four years) hardly comparable to what other receivers of lesser talent are getting. Not only that, but Shaw has seen fit to bad-mouth Ellard, suggesting that his value to the team is minimal.
Shaw and the Rams should be admired for their frugality. Shaw is a wise businessman. And if it is the goal of Shaw to put owner Georgia Frontiere on the Forbes 400, the team is heading in the right direction.
Of course, the Super Bowl might have to wait.
Around the league, though, it seems everyone else is getting stronger. The Bears, already the youngest team in the NFL, return two starters on defense, Todd Bell and Al Harris, who sat out the 1985 season in contract disputes.
Other teams--the Washington Redskins and New Orleans Saints, for example--have strengthened themselves greatly with refugees from the United States Football League.
As for the Rams, well, they’re just better, of course. And Robinson has this great little piece of land in the Mohave Desert he’s trying to get rid of. . . .
