Columnist Gave Up One Vice for a Better One

After a game at Madison Square Garden when Georgetown Coach John Thompson had him forcibly removed from the dressing room, syndicated columnist John Schulian figured it was time for a career change.

“He made me beg to talk to the illiterates who play for him,” Schulian told Steven Marantz of the Boston Globe. “I tried to barge in, and they threw me out. I said to myself, ‘You’re 40 years old and you’re going to beg to talk to 19-year-olds.’ I had OD’d on it.”

He got his career change. He is now a writer for “Miami Vice.” His salary has doubled.

“For a long time I thought I had the greatest job in the world,” Schulian said. Now, he has no regrets.

“I had talked to enough naked men and condescending coaches,” he said. “I had seen enough games.”

Charles Smith of the Pittsburgh basketball team wasn’t flattered when Dick Vitale said: “He’s the East Coast version of Danny Manning.”

Smith told the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: “I don’t like that. I’m sure Dick wouldn’t like being called the Al McGuire of the East.”

Trivia Time: What was the first “Q” battery in baseball history--with the last names of both the pitcher and catcher starting with the letter Q? (Answer below.)

From Denver Bronco owner Pat Bowlen, suggesting that his team is getting a little old: “I don’t know who might be contemplating retirement, but I think there are a number of players who should seriously think about it.

“There are some others who should consider it, but they probably have some time left in the league. It’s an individual decision. We’re not pushing anyone to retire.”

Of course not.

San Francisco 49er guard Randy Cross, on New York Giant linebacker Lawrence Taylor: “He’s an equal opportunity unemployer. He puts guys out of work.”

Now-it-can-be-told dept.: Former USC basketball coach Bob Boyd, appearing at a Southern California Sportscasters Assn. luncheon with son Bill, a former USC forward, said: “When I was at USC I had some opportunities to go elsewhere, but I didn’t because I always wanted to coach my son. Then when I did, I procrastinated about playing him. If I had it to do over again, I’d play him every minute.

“It got so bad that at one point I played him only on the road. Now, that was really stupid.”

Said Bill, now a Glendale realtor: “It’s kind of hard telling people the highlight of your career was taking two offensive charges from Bill Walton.”

Wait a Minute: Said Newsweek in its obituary on George (Twinkletoes) Selkirk, a New York Yankee outfielder in the 1930s and early ‘40s: “He hit a respectable .290 in his nine-year career.”

Respectable? You bet. Take a .290 to arbitration these days and you’ll get a lot of respect--and a lot of money. It might also will take you to the Hall of Fame. That’s exactly the figure Billy Williams is taking in.

Said Keith Hernandez of the Mets at the New York baseball writers dinner: “Let’s once and for all stop all the talk about who’s the best first baseman in New York. Don Mattingly is the best. It’s not even close.”

Trivia Answer: Dan Quisenberry and Jamie Quirk of the Kansas City Royals in 1980.

Quotebook

North Carolina State basketball Coach Jim Valvano, on a $4,000 scholarship he has donated to Rutgers, his alma mater: “There’s one stipulation. The recipient must have a higher grade-point average than I did.”