Dilemma for Church : Latino Girl’s Coming Out: Costly Rite

Berta Palada worked harder than she ever had for four months to earn $3,000 for the fiesta de los quince anos , the coming of age of her 15-year-old daughter, Sonia. She cleaned twice her usual number of Marina del Rey houses--a job she took to support her four children after arriving in this country from El Salvador eight years ago.

“When I came home, my body ached. I was so tired,” she said in Spanish. “Little by little I saved my pennies. My savings are all gone now. . . . In one instant everything was gone.”

The money went for a lavish rite of passage that included a Mass, a mariachi band, a disc jockey and a nine-tier cake. The Mexican and Central American custom--known as a quinceanera --was Sonia’s way of telling friends and relatives: “I am no longer a girl. Today I am a woman.”

A Matter of Tradition

The traditional celebration, however, has provided the Roman Catholic Church with a dilemma: Church officials think the fiesta costs too much and has become too secular. But at the same time they do not want to alienate young Latino Catholics.

“Some parishes don’t like to do them because they feel it becomes a big exaggerated occasion. A family will very often go into debt for years and years and years just to put on a fantastic celebration. How many Hispanic families can afford to do this?” asked Father Douglas Ferraro, director of the Los Angeles archdiocese’s office of liturgy and worship.

The tradition’s origins are uncertain, but most experts believe the custom derives from Mayan and Toltec fertility rites in which fathers presented their marriageable daughters to the tribe. After the Hispanic conquest, the ritual was incorporated into Catholic practice.

Religious Renewal

Although some liken the modern-day festivities to the “coming out parties” of debutantes, the celebration--like the Jewish bat mitzvah--not only ushers in adulthood but emphasizes religious renewal.

“It’s a tender tribute to the young girl . . . surrounded with prayer, benediction and blessing,” said Bishop John Ward, who oversees 73 parishes from Malibu to West Los Angeles.

Still, priests express concerns, ranging from mild worry to downright opposition.

“When priests get together, some say, ‘I’m for them and I’ll do them.’ Others say, ‘Then I’m shipping them over to you,’ “Ferraro said.

In Van Nuys, St. Elizabeth’s Church stopped holding quinceanera Masses last summer.

“We don’t want to eliminate them,” said Father Paul Hruby of St. Elizabeth’s, “but we had to put them on hold . . . for other more pressing church needs.

“Also, it wasn’t so much a religious celebration as a social event. I know people who would practically put a mortgage on their houses to put on a quinceanera .”

Hruby said the ceremony overlaps with the sacrament of confirmation because both are celebrations of “a maturity of faith.”

Because they are not sacraments, quinceaneras are generally low on the priority list for priests’ time--behind weddings, funerals and baptisms.

“They are not official church actions. No one is really obliged to do them,” said the archdiocese’s Ferraro. “But, priests try to do them to meet the desires of their parish.”

Although there is no standard church policy for conducting them or specific directives on preparation for the event, some priests refer to a set of guidelines established in 1978.

“Finances often play a large part in determining the type of celebration a young woman will have,” the archdiocese guidelines read. “At the time of planning it may be possible for the priest to tactfully and kindly guide the family toward simplicity and moderation with regard to attire and other material facets.”

As priests fret over high costs and debate how the events should be observed, families continue to hold the celebrations in large numbers.

Although the archdiocese does not keep records of how many quinceaneras are performed, officials estimate that the number conducted yearly in the Los Angeles area is probably in the thousands.

A church with a high number of Latino parishioners can hold about 150 quinceanera masses annually, according to church officials. About 80 of the archdiocese’s 284 parishes have large Latino populations.

‘Gaining Popularity’

“They are gaining popularity,” Bishop Ward said. “In the last 10 years their observance has grown remarkably with the increased members of the Latino community.”

And the festivities have grown more sumptuous.

These days it is not unusual for families to spend up to $10,000 for gowns, flowers, music, photography and refreshments, said Father Jim Forsen of St. Mark’s in Venice, where Sonia Palada’s Mass was held.

Sometimes the celebration can take on the dimensions of a Busby Berkeley extravaganza. Nellie Salgado de Snyder, associate director of UCLA’s Spanish-Speaking Mental Health Center and an expert on Latino culture, recalled a quinceanera where the girl hid inside a giant artificial rose carried by 15 men. As the petals started to drop, the young girl emerged dramatically.

“It’s unbelievable, and many of these are poor people,” Forsen said. “Priests see this and say, ‘What the hell is this?’ ”

“I’m sure you only hear these complaints in this country,” Snyder said. “Some non-Latino priests see these Latino Catholic customs as improper. They don’t understand the rituals.”

Father Brian Silva at Mary Immaculate Church in Pacoima tries to discourage some young women from holding a church service. Although he does not refuse to officiate at quinceanera Masses, Silva said he advises girls who do not attend Mass regularly to “just go and rent a hall.”

“It doesn’t make sense to say, ‘Oh God, I offer you my youth,’ then never practice the faith,” Silva said.

Adult Status Questioned

Many priests question whether a 15-year-old girl can be considered an adult. When the custom originated and life spans were shorter, 15 might have marked adulthood, some priests said. Today, however, a 15-year-old is often considered still a child.

“We can’t say she’s an adult; she doesn’t have all the answers to life’s mysteries,” said Msgr. Armando Ochoa, director of ethnic ministry services for the Los Angeles archdiocese and a pastor of Sacred Heart Church in Lincoln Heights. Ochoa said his parish conducts quinceaneras “in a limited way.”

“I’m really not into a mini-mock wedding and most of us aren’t,” Ochoa said. “It can become, sadly, an excuse to have a big party and spend too much money.”

Some priests complain that too much money goes to clothes, refreshments and entertainment and not enough to the church.

Ward recounted a quinceanera in which a young woman who was from another parish left the church in an entourage of nine limousines--without making the expected donation.

“Fathers will spend thousands of bucks and then cry poorhouse when it comes to paying the church,” Silva said.

To guard against the possibility of not receiving a donation, St. Bridget’s of Sweden in Van Nuys requires $100 to conduct a quinceanera Mass.

Some parishes, like Mary Immaculate in Pacoima, perform the ceremony for groups of girls, rather than individuals, in an effort to prevent excessive spending.

In its own way, the Catholic church may also be involved in a rite of passage, trying to convert a primitive ritual to a modern expression of commitment to the church.

Many parishes are trying to promote simpler, more religious celebrations by offering preparatory classes that emphasize the solemnity of the event.

“The whole point is the preparation of the girl to God and the church. If she’s internally not really committed to serve humankind, then it makes no sense. It’s just one more party,” said Sister Maruja Sedano, associate director of the archdiocese’s religious education office for the Latino community.

Preparatory Class

Guadalupe Youth Center in Canoga Park offers an intensive daylong preparatory class for everyone involved in the quinceanera party. During the class, young people discuss Christian life styles and liturgy with religion instructors or deacons. The class theme is “God Made Me Special,” said center director Gabriel Hernandez.

Hernandez sees this religious instruction as a way to get youths “back into the church.”

St. Bridgets of Sweden in Van Nuys requires that quinceanera applicants do three months of weekly community service, such as helping elderly and ill parishioners or working in a rest home, said quinceanera coordinator Josie Rivera.

Rivera said the service requirement--which was established five years ago--has not diminished interest in quinceaneras. About 50 girls have participated, she said.

Rivera regards it as a celebration of Christian and Latin roots and a practice that should be encouraged, despite the church’s concerns about excessive spending. She maintains that priests should be more informed about the custom.

“The two most important days to a Mexican girl are her wedding and her quince anos party,” UCLA’s Snyder said. “That night you’re allowed to dance with the boys, have a drink, you’re considered a senorita.

“But, it’s not just a birthday party. There’s a public acceptance that this girl now has obligations and responsibilities to society.”

As a girl growing up in El Salvador, poverty deprived Berta Palada of the celebration of her passage to womanhood.

“It seemed like the parties were mostly for rich people,” Palada sighed. “I never had the opportunity to go to one. I used to ask people what they were like.”

Finally, last November she was an integral part of a quinceanera-- watching proudly as her daughter stood on the flower-festooned altar at St. Mark’s dressed in an elaborately embroidered lace gown, surrounded by an entourage of young couples in bright pink dresses and pale gray tuxedos.

Sonia’s birthday celebration consisted of a Mass and a party with a lot of food, drink, mariachi musicians and a disc jockey playing popular tunes. In the middle of the party she abandoned Duran Duran--her favorite rock group--for a traditional waltz with her corte de honor (honor court) of male and female friends and family members.

Sharing Expenses

Some families are trying to put on equally lavish celebrations at a lower cost by sharing expenses among family members and close friends.

“A lot of people almost need the permission not to spend that much money,” St. Elizabeth’s Hruby said.

Jacinta Estrada of Santa Monica, a single mother of five, was able to hold an elaborate quinceanera celebration for her daughter, Maria Josefa, despite being on welfare. She managed the party for 250 people with the help of relatives and friends, she said.

“I was just going to take her to Magic Mountain or Disneyland, and she said very sadly, ‘Mom, if you don’t have the money to have a party, it’s OK. I understand,’ ” Estrada said. “After all, I don’t work. How could we do it?”

But Estrada, who had never been given a quinceanera in her native Mexico, was determined to scrape the money together somehow. “I said I’d try to put on a little party--even if it was humble,” Estrada said.

Although the party cost more than $3,000, Estrada, who lives in Venice, said she provided only about $500. The balance was provided by her sister, Maria’s godparents and close friends of the family, she said.

Maria Guillermina Quintero, an unemployed mother of six from West Los Angeles, also relied on relatives to help her oldest daughter, Alicia, celebrate her 15th birthday. The $2,000 for her daughter’s party was divided among Alicia’s godparents, aunt, uncle and grandparents.

“I thought I’d like to have one for my daughter, even if it wasn’t luxurious,” Quintero said. “You have to celebrate it. It’s the beginning of her life as an adult.”

“These days the poorest families will have the most elegant celebrations,” said Alicia Alarcon, society editor of La Opinion, the city’s largest Spanish-language newspaper. “They deprive themselves of other things and ask family members to help them.”

Priests’ Objections

However, the trend toward sharing the economic burden has not kept priests from objecting to the style of quinceaneras. Many say they do not want the celebration to look like a wedding or for the girls to think of it as just a big party. They stress the young woman’s responsibilities to the community and to the church.

“The girl thinks, ‘I’ll be able to dress up and have my girlfriends here.’ We try to say there’s a little bit more here than just an event,” Ward said. “You’re entering a whole new phase in your life, close to being the ultimate decision-maker in your life. You should make decisions with humble, sincere prayer. It’s not just going to Disneyland, it should be a little more meaningful.”

But despite the controversy surrounding quinceaneras, the celebration is of significance to proud parents and to Latino girls like Sonia Palada.

“Sometimes you can’t imagine she’ll ever get to 15. So many other kids don’t make it. They die young,” Berta Palada said. “It happened so fast; she was so little and now she’s 15.”

“Now I’ll have a little more liberty,” Sonia Palada said solemnly, a few hours after her quinceanera . “I feel like I was born again, and I will live a better life.”