PRAISING THE LORDS: The Lords of the...

PRAISING THE LORDS: The Lords of the New Church, who were scheduled to open their U.S. tour Friday in Boston, are offering a tongue-in-cheek stock option for supporters of the band. According to lead singer Stiv Bators, the group is selling 5,000 shares of stock in its “Mercenary Tour ’87.” As Bators put it: “Why should we have to worry about where we’re sleeping or where our next meal is coming from when others can pay for the privilege of taking care of those things for us?” The group has also hinted that it will play an unannounced date in Lynchburg, Va., hometown of the Rev. Jerry Falwell, with Bators saying: “There are certain people who should hear our songs--again and again and again.” . . . Jim and Tammy Bakker’s adventures have been an inspiration for local rock-radio satirists everywhere. Here are a few high--or low--points (culled from a recent Radio & Records survey). In Miami, Herman & McBean (WGTR-FM) offer “I Wanna Be Jim Bakker” (to the tune of “Sledgehammer”). And Orlando’s Tommy & Paul (WHTQ-FM) not only have come up with a parody, “Tammy’s Song,” but recently presided over a “Tammy Look-alike Contest,” which attracted both female and male Tammy contestants, who were judged on ability to weep on cue and apply the thickest makeup. The winning impersonator received $200, a shopping bag full of makeup and a weekend reservation (for two) at Florida’s Sheraton Clearwater, the hotel where the celebrated encounter between Jim Bakker and Jessica Hahn occurred. . . . And while we’re on that subject, veteran New York deejay Don Imus has taken advantage of the Bakker hoopla to rerelease his cash-crazy TV evangelist fable, “God’s Other Son,” which is due out next month from Pocket Books.