WAITING FOR RESPECT

As you may or may not have noticed, 1987 is “The Year of the Waiter.”

That is according to the Society for American Cuisine, which describes itself as “the national professional association for restaurateurs, chefs and food service operators interested in the continuing evolution of American cooking.”

Patrick O’Connell, chef and co-owner of the acclaimed Inn at Little Washington, Va., is in charge of the society’s celebration of the serving profession, which includes “a three-pronged plan of attack to raise waiters’ status. The prongs are as follows (and I paraphrase):

1--Do away with the term waitress and call both male and female practitioners of the metier waiters . I think this is a splendid idea. I also think, incidentally, that another alternative, the application of the term waitperson to men and women alike, is just plain silly: the ress suffix might well be feminine, but the er suffix is not necessarily masculine. It simply implies the doer of an action. The next time some poor benighted soul introduces him-or-herself as your “waitperson,” ask if you can see his or her driveperson’s license, or inquire if he or she is a loveperson of Chinese food or an avid jogperson.

2--Abolish tipping. “As soon as we get rid of the idea that diners buy the loyalty of the waiters and the waiter sells out for a tip, customers will begin to respect waiters more,” O’Connell suggests. Waiters should get salaries just like any other professionals, he adds. One way of arranging this, another society spokesman has proposed, would be to include a service charge automatically on every check, as in Europe. Leaving aside the question of how customers hereabouts would react to being told, in effect, how much to tip, the fact is that I’ve met very few waiters in this country who would voluntarily exchange their tips for a salary, no matter how uncertain the former or generous the latter. Besides, anyone who thinks that the automatic service charge in Europe has done away with tipping has probably never eaten in a good restaurant on that continent: Virtually everybody in France leaves something extra, on top of the obligatory charge--usually around 5% of the check total.

3--More training. “Training is the single most important aspect to having an excellent staff,” O’Connell says--which I should think would be obvious to restaurateurs and waiters alike, but which (obviously) isn’t. This “prong” I will discuss in more detail next week.

MORE ANNIVERSARIES: Two weeks ago in this column, I mentioned that several local restaurants were currently celebrating anniversaries of 20 years or more. Five more old-timers have since been brought to my attention: Carmine’s in West L.A. is 15 this year (and has recently opened for lunch, by the way); La Masia in West Hollywood is 16 (a fact that gives me pause: I was their first paying customer the night they opened, and it seems like only, well, the day before yesterday); the Cask ‘n Cleaver chain started 20 years ago, in Cucamonga; Damon’s in Glendale is celebrating its 50th year this month, and Chez Jay in Santa Monica is a venerable 28--not bad for a place that puts bananas in its potatoes.

MANNERISM: Speaking, as I was above, of tipping, I’m still waiting for that guide to tipping offered by noted etiquettician Miss Manners, through her column in Another Local Newspaper last March. As I have noted before in my own column (and will continue to note periodically until I get some satisfaction in this matter), my check for the requisite $1.50 was cashed on April 9. As of July 6, I have still not received the booklet. Somebody slap that woman’s wrist. Naughty, naughty, naughty.

SIDE ORDERS: The fifth annual Los Angeles Garlic Festival will be held next Sunday on San Vicente Boulevard between Melrose and Santa Monica from 3 to 10 p.m., with numerous local restaurants offering their wares. Call (213) 739-4535 for more information. . . . Bastille Day, Tuesday, will be celebrated by a number of French restaurants around town--among them Patrick Terrail’s Hollywood Diner in Hollywood (a gala dinner-dance), L’Olivier in Tarzana (a $22.95 six-course prix-fixe “country French” dinner plus live French entertainment) and Cafe Reni in Santa Monica (a special $17.95 three-course holiday dinner). . . .