Conclusion of the Iran-Contra Hearings

The hearings were good for us because:

Well, they were as exciting as soap operas, especially when that good-looking leading man, Ollie North, was on stage in his gorgeous threads. And the hearings opened a rare window into the inner rooms of the palace of power.

I learned more about our Constitution and that attacks on it come not from outside but from inside zealots armed with the best intentions. Also, the hearings held up for my inspection a Central American policy over a century old but still being followed by our government.

The hearings were real life except for the reasons given by all the government witnesses as to why we should continue our old policy--even I could see that those reasons were taken from some fantasy movie. For one thing, they all said that we and the contras want to bring democracy back to Nicaragua. If that’s true, then why didn’t we give them democracy during the 65 years we owned Nicaragua in everything but name? But the silliest reason our brave witnesses gave for supporting our hired army was that if we don’t, the Soviets will have a base for attacking us. Our government guys made it sound as if our choice is either one or the other, but how could it happen if we were trading with Nicaragua on a friendly basis instead of trying to force them back under our control or into the Soviet camp?

We ought to send the whole executive branch and lots of congressmen to a good business school so they can catch up with the world and figure out a new policy for Central America that will make friends for us, and customers, and maybe a little profit for both sides.

Other than that, the hearings were a blast.

WILLARD OLNEY

Hesperia